Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Cerclage is out!!

Cerclage is out- removal was painful, but only took 5 minutes. Deep breaths helped. Peri gave me a hug afterwards. I'm typing from my phone so excuse any misspellings. I'm 70-80 percent effaced and 1.5-2 cm dilated. Got to keep the stitch- will post pic in a few days. Baby's heartrate was 122 bpm- slower than normal but peri said it was fine. Baby is small at 6lbs 5 oz.
I had cramping when he snipped it-ouch!! I also have some spotting.
Happy new year everyone!! I think this baby won't come until 1-2 wks or more!! There is a twilight zone marathon today for those who can't get out tonight. Scifi channel

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

30 weeks - 35 weeks - what I did

This is what I did, it may not work for you.
At 28 weeks I was diagnosed with GD, so I decided to start doing more around 30 weeks.
I was walking to the mailbox and a little more if I felt up to it. I did feel pelvic pressure, but I think it was all the months of bedrest as I don't get that really anymore.

Stairs: Up and down once a day only. If I don't want to go down right away, DH brings me breakfast.
Showers: Once a day for 7-8 minutes - timed
Driving: Although I could drive at this point, DH won't let me drive anywhere with or without him.

At my dr. visit at 35 weeks I was told I don't have much of a cervix left. I'm not sure if this is because I've been walking around more. I had to walk around to help my GD, but honestly I think the diet is the only thing that is helping that. I only test 4 times a day once a week now and I do cheat here and there.

I had a shower at 33weeks and another coed shower at 35 weeks. I regretted not being able to stand up and socialize more at the first shower. By the 2nd one, I was up more talking to people - although it was a small shower.

I did go to the grocery store twice, but it was after 35 weeks and I didn't lift anything. I haven't been out to big box stores like target, but I hope to once the cerclage is out.

I do go out once a day to eat with DH. I feel more comfortable doing that. I've also visited friends/family who live in my same city. I didn't go out of town for Christmas to see my immediate family, but most came here to see me right before Christmas.

Discharge has slightly increased for me and I wonder if it is my mucus plug slowly coming out - not sure since I've had discharge almost daily in this pregnancy (sometimes more than once a day). Since I am so effaced - or my cervix is - I feel that I might not have much of a mucus plug. I don't know though.

I don't lie down as much during the day, but I do lie down after my shower (usually 15-30 minutes). I lie down about once a day or when watching tv.

I look at the IC forum and I see girls who didn't have to do bedrest and never had a shortening cervix. I think I couldn't do that although my drs felt I could. I then see girls who do bedrest and still have shortening. I think everyone is different and they have to do what is right for them. With the effacement news I received last week - I wonder if it is because I started doing more. OB says 'no', but then again he is the one along with my peri who told me directly NOT to do bedrest. I think it helps, but what do I know. Maybe there will be more answers tomorrow...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

OBGyn appt 35w4d-interesting news...

OB appt today. Dr. was running late - what is new, but he was there (shocking!). I had to remind the staff at the front that I needed an NST (something that can be done without obgyn there). They didn't have me scheduled for one- as usual. I guess everytime I check in now, I need to remind them. They were supposed to start my NSTs a few weeks before they did. Very annoying! I just wish I had told them sooner instead of waiting 30 minutes then saying something and wondering why I hadn't been brought back yet.

He came in while I was doing my NST and said it was textbook and everything seemed great. He asked me about my GD and I told him I monitor myself once a week per peri's orders. I told him my range and he said 'then why did you fail your GD test?' I told him because I was eating fruit for bkfst, etc. And I will go over if I eat a lot of carbs...

I always tell my DH that I'm a wannabe dr, so I asked the dr when he finally came into see me and measure me 'did the NST show that I was having a contraction at the end?' He said 'yeah, why? did you feel it'. I said 'not really, but I noticed the NST changed and I might have had a contrx because I had to go to the bathroom'. I just noticed the lines went weird at the end.

Interesting news:
Cervix is soft.
Dr. didn't want to check dilation because he didn't want to disturb things, but he said maybe fingertip dilated if anything. Cerclage is holding the cervix closed from dilating and he said if I was dilated more I would be bleeding (as I tear the cervix).
He said the baby's head is VERY LOW and in my pelvis (although I haven't felt the baby drop). My mom even told me on Saturday that I was still carrying the baby high.
OB said he thinks I am 80% effaced (!!!!!!) I think it kinda shocked him. He said 'well I thought I was going to come in here and think that you didn't really need the cerclage, but I think you needed it now. I can feel the stitch and your cervix is flat. Your cervix has changed'. I said 'well I have been doing more in the past 2 weeks.' He said 'that wouldn't affect it'. For those who don't always read my blog, my drs have never put me on bedrest but I put myself on bedrest and I'm 100% sure it has helped (DH is convinced too). My drs don't believe in bedrest.
I then asked him if I was 100% effaced (no cervix left) and he said 'no maybe 80%'. He then said 'don't be surprised if you dilate immediately to 3cm when they take your cerclage out next week'. DH asked if I will have the baby sooner and he said maybe not. I told him 'What if I have the baby in the next two weeks - you are on vacation?' He said 'well, you need to wait until I come back'. He still thinks I will not go into labor immediately. He said 'being effaced just means that labor will be shorter'. Hmmm....

On another note, I have been doing SO much this week. I spent part of yesterday and today cooking and standing up - making meals to freeze. We did go see a daycare today too. I've spent most of the day standing up and plan to do the same tomorrow - maybe I need to take it easy. I had more discharge today - I hope I haven't been losing my mucus plug slowly - especially with the effacement news.

Next post will be what I did from 30-35 weeks.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

OBGyn appt 34w4d

Well I had my first NST on Tuesday and it came back good. I was worried because my dr. wasn't there - he was stuck in surgery and the girls there didn't provide much encouragement or knowledge. They setup a nurse practioner who came to talk to me and she didn't even measure my stomach - she was being lazy. Wasn't confident in her evaluation of my results... She didn't provide much info. Baby did kick a few times, but also was sleeping part of the time. They offered to give me juice to wake him up and I had to tell them 'i can't drink juice due to GD'. So they gave me cold water...
I was worried because the baby is very sleepy - probably like his mom - lazy.
The positive was that the NST showed absolutely no contractions.
I called today to see if my dr had reviewed my NST so I could get his opinion. They said 'yeah he looked at it and said baby was responsive'. Gee, thanks for calling me.
Oh, I asked about circumsicion and they said they had no idea if the ob did these - like I said the girls were really helpful.
I go in next week for another NST and almost weekly after that. (except one week when I get an u/s at the peri's office). My peri said I didn't need NSTs, but honestly I am glad my obgyn is doing them. I think it's important to see how the baby is reacting.

On a different note - how much should we trust drs? The reason I say this is because I talked to my friend who just had a h.ome b.irth. She was so brave to do this considering she was high risk and had t.wins (but one didn't make it past 18 wks). We have the same r.e. and same peri. Peri told her that she would want to d.eliver the live baby f.irst and the babies were positioned that way. Well, she delivered the other one first. She said she asked about cord and they told her at peri's office that it was not around the babies' neck. Well, when he was delivered the cord was w.rapped around 3 times. She said a few things our peri told her were not correct. I know medicine is not an exact science, but geez. I don't know much about the cord being around the neck, but she said it happens earlier when the baby moves around and they should be able to see that on the u/s. But not to discredit my peri - she also had a 4d u/s and they didn't notice that either.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Two movie recommendations

Ok, want a movie that doesn't take much effort to watch? I have two movies for you!

I have to say that I like most movies and some might consider these bad movies, but I enjoyed them. But might expectation might have been lowered in mentally preparing for these movies, which meant I was pleasantly surprised.

We rented ShootEmUp with Clive Owen. It was a movie with a lot of violence and shooting (hence the name). Most people probably won't like this movie. The plot was not believable and neither was the over the top antics, but it made me laugh from the stupidity. This movie is sort of making fun of other action movies. I will warn my fellow deadbabymamas - this movie has baby loss in it, but I think in a positive way. Two of the characters lost a baby, but end up taking care of another baby that isn't theirs. My DH didn't want to see this, I rented it on netflix. He said at the end that he liked it too. He didn't even want to bother watching it and he likes action movies. I told him to give it a try.

Ok, this one is better...I promise.
I think RobertDowney and TomCruise are nominated for a golden globe for their roles in this movie. This is not a typical oscar movie though. It is relatively easy to watch - not too much to think about. Sometimes we all need one of those movies don't we?
The reason I liked it: I don't like TomCruise at all. I don't like most of his movies - just don't care for the guy. I did like Last Samurai, but not most of his movies. He has a minor part in this movie, but I love his part. He was not his typical self - maybe I just liked seeing him slightly overweight and balding. ha!
I don't like BenStiller much either - and I think he wrote this movie. I think I liked it because he wasn't the focus of the movie - there were so many people in it.
It was a funny movie.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

When do you write off friends?

Ok, I hope this post doesn't come across selfish sounding...I can probably blame hormones on this one. :)
It is very minor compared to other people's problems.

One of my friends emailed me the day before my shower to say she was working on Saturday and would *try* to come to my shower. This is after she RSVP'd for 4 people (her 2 kids and her mom). For the record, no one else brought their kids (or their moms and some people's moms I am actually close with). I have friends who just had babies in March, April and even last month and none of them brought their babies. I was kinda relieved - not because I wouldn't have wanted to see them, but because I'm sure people would expect me to hold their baby and I can't lift anything. Most don't understand about being on bedrest and I don't want to sound rude about not being able to hold their baby.

So when I got this email, I counted her out as not coming because I know her very well. I knew she wouldn't make it. I was kinda hurt, but honestly I assumed from the start that she wasn't able to come. I actually had to RSVP for her, since she was too busy to call my sister. She also asked me for directions to the shower and 1) i'm not hosting it and 2) that's just rude. I emailed her and said that the invite said how to get directions - said to call someone for directions (I mean don't people also know how to use It's funny how people don't read invites.

Well, she called me the day after the shower - and I didn't answer my phone. She didn't leave a message, but sent an email saying how she really wanted to make it, but her daughter had a fever. But she wanted me to send her pictures...ok whatever.

To add more background to this person, she didn't show up to my wedding either. She had the same excuse - that she had to work. I mean I understand people work on saturdays, but I'm not 100% believing it with her. She RSVP'd for my wedding for her and her daughter and never showed. I mean a call the day before would have been cool...I could have invited other people.

Oh, I think most who read will find this pretty interesting (as the rest was a bore)... :) She never told me that she was pregnant. Yeah...Well, she found out that she was pregnant around the time I had my loss. But I've never told any of my friends 'please don't tell me news'. I don't think I make people walk on eggshells around me. Well, the only reason I found out she just had a baby - was I emailed her and never heard back from her. I was worried and asked her sister who didn't tell me either. Then she emails me that she just had a baby in August. So she didn't tell me for her whole pregnancy...I guess I can't find fault with that, since I've kept my pregnancy under wraps (but not from good friends - mainly coworkers).

Oh, and when I told her that I was pregnant and that we were having a boy (she has 2 girls), she doubted that I was. At first, I didn't tell her. Actually I didn't tell her but she found out when she got the baby shower invite. She said 'are you sure? you should keep asking them at your u/s because I do that.' I said 'well they told me twice, but i'll ask again'. :)

I really want to write her off, but I probably won't. Honestly, I wanted to write off a few people who I invited to my wedding and never showed. I know things come up (sick kids, etc), but some people are just rude. I guess I would rather someone tell me from the start that they can't attend.

No offense, to fertiles who may read this blog, but I think fertiles make excuses not to attend showers just as much as those dealing with infertility. So those of us who have been through a loss, don't feel bad about not attending showers. At least you have a better excuse than most...
On a different note, I've talked on here about how my mom's friends try to give me gifts and suck up to me. Some are my age and I think they want to be my friends. I kinda have a chip on my shoulder about these people. I can't even go into what they have tried to do in the past - it's a mess. (including getting their children to call my p.arents -gma and gpa).(!!!!!) I think I am good judge of character and I don't like most of my mom's friends. I've also posted why on this blog before, but I'll post it again. My mom knows a c.elebrity and her friends are just there to meet this person. It is SO SO SO obvious - they are not genuine people. I kinda find it uncomfortable when my parents have friends who are the same age as me, but I know that happens a lot. My FIL has neighbors who he is friends with who are younger than me and DH. We both find it odd. I guess we don't mind so much as long as those people don't try to befriend us.

Last year, some of her friends tried to get me Christmas presents and some said they wanted to come to my shower (this was before my loss last year). Some have said they will b.ake a - not for my shower but for other family events - of course they will because then they get invited to the event. This c.elebrity would most likely be there and they know that. They tell my mom 'we just are doing it out of the goodness of our heart'. Well, I declined all gifts that my mom was trying to give me from them last year. I think this surprised her friends as they don't understand why I would try to decline them. Well, this battle has been going on for awhile and I'm so tired of it. So for this shower, none of them got invited - I would have flipped out if they showed up. I think my mom understands a little how I feel and she didn't want to upset me (to cause any preterm labor, etc). BUT one of her friends did get me a gift for the shower...I decided instead of fighting the battle just to accept the gift and not say anything. I feel bad that I sold out, but I'm honestly tired of fighting this battle. Around my loss last year, I was dealing with these people and I really don't want to get myself upset about the whole situation. I know I won't be friends with this person. I sent her a thank you card and I hope I never have to see her again. I'm so proud of myself that this hasn't bothered me that much - of course it irritates me or I wouldn't write about it on this blog. But I'm not upset as much as I have been in the past... :)

Friday, December 12, 2008

34 weeks!

I still can't believe that I made it this far. Wow...

Two and a half weeks until my cerclage is removed. I had a dream last night that the stitch came out when I went to the bathroom and I went into labor shortly after that. I guess I'm scared if something starts happening before the cerclage removal.

I think I will make it 2.5 wks though. I'm not traveling at all for Christmas - well haven't traveled anywhere since May. I hope my family gets to come up to visit us.

I also hope work is quiet next week - a lot of people take off at this time. So I hope work is quiet...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Congrats to Ariella!

She had her baby boy on Sunday, I believe.
I can't wait to hear more details and see some pictures. He was born a little early at 36w2d, I think. But I know he is doing great!!
Congrats Ariella! I'm so happy your miracle is here.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Thoughts on bedrest

So, last pregnancy I went into labor the night I went to the movies. Well, the process had already started and I don't blame the movie. But I went a few times to the movies in my last pregnancy and my uterus seemed irritable during loud movies. This time I said 'no' to going to any movies - well I did see Sex and the City when I was newly pregnant. That was the last movie I saw. I miss going. DH has gone a few times without me. I need to catch up on the summer blockbusters. I miss that I haven't gone with him since that was usually our date night-the movie theater we go to serves food. I want to go this month, but DH says 'no'. I miss it but I can put it off a few more weeks. (well after that it will be hard to go with a new baby).

I really felt my uterus was just more irritable mainly between 14-20 weeks. It's hard to explain, but I have two dogs and when they barked it drove me nuts. It still bothers me, but my uterus can handle it now a lot better. I know I mentioned before that I could never do weekly dr. apppts that most do with IC because walking to the drs. office would make my uterus irritable. Leaving my house to take a shower made me nervous and also made my uterus a little irritability. But now, I feel so better about leaving the house - I still get nervous, but I feel stronger. I think once the baby got big enough to not rest on my cervix, I could feel a lot better. I still get nervous when I go out to eat - will my water break unexpectedly? It did last time and I'm just scared it will happen in public. (to clarify it didn't break in public last time - it was the middle of the night in bed).

DH has turned 180 degrees. At first, he believed my peri who said I could do anything but waterski/jump on a trampoline. Now, DH is more conservative and won't let me do much. At first he was skeptical on my approach, but still supported me.
I don't drive and I probably could now, but he won't let me drive anywhere. Giving up things to be on bedrest is hard, but it is doable and to be honest the time is flying lately. I've been so conservative and then I think - well I've done it this long, I can keep doing what I am doing just a few more weeks. I am doing more lately - walking to the mailbox and going to stores, but I still lie down when I feel I have done too much. I've done most of my Christmas shopping online though.

The one positive thing about bedrest is that I've had time to work on things. For example, I made my own Christmas cards and already sent them out. I made them from a kit, so I wasn't that creative. It was time consuming though to put them together. I plan to do more scrapbooking too.

So I'm not sure why I'm rambling...just wanted to say what I miss, but what I can put off since it is worth it for the baby.
I don't really miss coffee, but I will want some after I deliver. I didn't care for the smell too much this pregnancy.
I miss hot cocoa. I didn't really get to drink it, but now it is colder and I want some. I can't drink it because of the sugar and I don't do sugarfree. I did drink chocolate milk or chocolate shakes earlier in pregnancy. I tried to limit caffeine but I did eat dark chocolate every few days. But I can give it up a few more weeks...
I miss chinese food and other stuff that's hard to eat with my GD.
Actually, I will cheat and eat one slice of cake at my baby shower.
I miss movies.
I miss driving.
I miss more social interaction. If I wasn't working, I think I would go insane.

As the holidays approach, I am thankful for what I have. I also think a lot about my online friends and pray that they are successful in getting pregnant, delivering, or staying pregnant. May your holiday wishes come true!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

OBGYN appt - 32w4d

Dr measured me and I forgot to ask about fundal height. Ugh!
Baby's h/b was same almost as yesterday. They always have trouble finding it on one side and I tell them that it's easier on the oppposite side. Once I tell them that, they usually find it easily. Had to tell nurse that last time too.

Dr was so happy that I've made it this far. He was smiling and saying he was so glad I made it out of the 'red zone'. So last time, not sure if I posted when I was 28w5d or so and he said 'well you don't want to deliver now' when I asked him if I was out of the danger zone. So I guess he feels more comfortable now at my gestation. I told him 'maybe I'll go into labor when they take the stitch out' and he said 'not likely'. Boo, he agrees with my peri.

I'm guess I glad that I kept both my drs. as they know my history.

He says I'll get NSTs at his office at each visit from now on. I should have done one today instead of waiting 1 hr in the room for my dr to come. I think I'll be getting them because of GD. I told him peri won't do them. I think I mentioned yesterday how my peri says he doesn't like NSTs, prefers the u/s biophysical profile. He said obgyn could do them.

Dr. asked me if I felt uncomfortable - I told him yeah I was tired - but only because I had to sit there for an hr waiting for him. I left off the last part when telling him though. :)

Dr said if I was excited to deliver in the new location - I told him that the hospital website says they new women's section won't until spring next year. He told me that is not true and he has delivered babies there already. I'm excited as I thought he had it wrong when it he told me that months ago. I was counting on delivering at the same hospital but the old area for L&D. He opened the blinds to show me the new section of the hospital - it's across the street from his new office.

Monday, December 1, 2008

32w3d peri appt

Baby is measuring 4lbs 9oz - 50th percentile
It had me measuring a week to a week and a half ahead. Who knows...
Heartbeat was 147bpm
Baby was smacking his lips.
Baby is still head down.
Amniotic level is perfect - always my concern since I've been leaking urine since 4 weeks pregnant. I told him I really wouldn't know if it was amniotic fluid except last time I felt a slight gush a few hrs before my water broke. My leaking urine never gushes like that.

Cervical length was 3.02cm - down from last time, but peri didn't even comment or look at it. It goes down around this time for normal pregnant women. In fact, most girls on the IC forum I frequent don't get measured after 26/28 wks. I've been walking more, doing more around the house and doing stairs daily. So I'm glad those haven't affected my CL too much...I bought a bunch of gift bags yesterday - went out to the dollar tree - but DH didn't want me to stand in line so I went to sit in the car. We also went out to eat lunch. So I don't plan to really wrap presents even though I probably could manage it.

Baby was measuring on target - all body parts, so they aren't concerned with my gestational diabetes. Peri said if baby was 90% percentile or something they would worry. He also said that based on my week long numbers that I'm really borderline if anything. My obgyn's office never gave them my 3hr results and I forgot yet again to bring them. They aren't good at talking to each other - I think that isn't good. I did have a rough estimate of my numbers and he said I wasn't past the 2nd threshold.

Peri was not too concerned, but then again I've never seen him stressed or concerned. :) Actually, I lied - the one time I did him concerned was at my cerclage placement right before they knocked me out. He saw my cervix was opening from the bottom and he looked slightly panicked. He has so much confidence and is so laid back that I'm not sure how he handles patients with problems. I don't want to find out.

So back to my gestational diabetes conversation with him... He said I don't have to do insulin and if I did, it would bring my normal levels TOO low. Yea for no drugs!
I did test my blood for more than 7 days as they suggested because of the holidays. So I tested for 12 days total. I went over twice - the day after thanksgiving (once) and yesterday (once). I was good on thanksgiving and didn't stuff my face and even cheated and ate a small piece of pumpkin pie & pecan pie. My levels on thanksgiving were great. Peri said just to stick to my diet and test only once a week (4 times in one day) and send them my results. He said he would throw out those two bad results since all my other ones were perfect.
Oh, I won't be doing stress tests, but I do get ultrasounds once a week starting at 36 weeks but really it will be more like almost 37w5d as I get cerclage out at my next appt - 36w5d and then he said once a week for a month. I like the extra ultrasounds as I didn't expect them. I've read online that some people get NST - he said the u/s are much better (biophysical profile). I told him I'll have the baby on dec. 31st when they take the stitch out. Peri said 'not likely, that's pretty rare'. :) He estimates I'll go into labor 2 weeks after stitch removal. Oh, I told him I wanted to keep the stitch and he said that's fine. :) I know I'm weird. I want to compare it to others as there are a wide range of which type people use. He said it looks like a shoe lace. I'm curious to see what it looks like.

Next peri appt is cerclage removal - I never thought I would make it this far!

I have a baby shower this weekend. I'm excited, but nervous as always that I could go into labor before then. For anyone who has been through a loss, the worry is always there.

Thanks for the support ladies! I know I don't have many people who read this blog, but I hope someone finds it useful. Monica, Ariella and Busted, I know you are pretty much my only readers. Thank you for being there!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

31week update!

Well, we went to see my peri on Thursday for GD counseling. We actually just saw the nurse - of course- the one I don't like. She isn't good with patients. They first put me in a u/s room and I was excited that I might get an u/s - no such luck.
She just went over how to draw blood and diet.
She asked me what I ate for breakfast and I said 'oatmeal no sugar, banana whole, and a two bites of DH's huge cinammon roll'. My result came back GREAT - she said she was surprised that it came out good considering I shouldn't be eating cinammon rolls or banannas in the morning (no fruit in the morning - or before noon). Well I didn't know that because I didn't have the diet yet. Since testing (3 times on Thurs., 4 times on Friday and so far 3 times today) all results are way under the limit. Yea! So either my walking has helped as I increased my exercise from lying down all day to sitting up more and walking to the mailbox and a little beyond and/or following the diet has helped. Although I'm not sure the diet has helped 100% as I didn't start following it until thurs afternoon. I went to breakfast today with DH. We also went to lunch on Thursday after my appt.
Oh, I do testing 4 times a day for 7 days and then fax the peri's office my results. Then they will meet with me to discuss if the diet is working for me. If it isn't working - they will have me take insulin, but I think my levels are good so far. If they feel everything is working - I think I will only check my blood once a week.

DH setup our crib on Thursday afternoon and arranged our dresser/changer combo. He took a few days off from work and is off next week. We bought it from a friend and it's great - no scratches or anything. It's perfect. It made me finally realize that we may have a baby in 2 months from now. DH bought a mattress last weekend.

There is so much left to do, but it is helping the time to go by faster. I feel like I haven't done so many things.

I can't flake at work this week in fact I have a few deadlines. Ugh! I just want to take it easy this holiday week. Boo!

I have my baby's angelversary next week - it will be a sad time. I sound strong on here, but I have my really bad days where I'm not positive. I burst into tears one day when I saw a baby who was about the same age as my son would have been (six months) on an online forum. He was dressed in a santa outfit.

Friday, November 21, 2008

24 weeks - 29 weeks - what I did

This is what I did, it may not make sense to others. You have to do what your body feels comfortable with. I've learned to try to listen to my body.

I started out this timeframe with harsh kicks, bh contx and some cramping a few days after I hit 24 weeks.
I didn't want to go to L&D as they don't know my history and I don't trust emergency room drs. I'm not sure if they admit you to L&D first (and wait for your dr) or if they would do what they did to me last time I went in. For example, I wouldn't want them to do a manual check. Last time my water had broken and they did a manual check - which can actually cause infection from what I have read on the internet.
So I felt sick on a sunday night, but opted not to go. Next day I went in for an emegency obgyn appt (peri wasn't in town and i'm not sure he would have seen me anyway - they push problems to the obgyn first). Of course, my obgyn has to be booked weeks in advanced (or months) and then even sometimes he is in surgery or delivering babies. I saw a nurse practioner which didn't help my nerves. Long story short since I posted this around that timeframe. I was diagnosed with BV (bacterial vaginosis) and a UTI. They found blood in my urine and it was very cloudy. The BV was causing the cramping and she saw discharge when she looked up into my vagina. I had no discharge at all. It scares me sometimes because my body doesn't typically have the *normal* symptoms others do. If I am sick I don't get a fever unless i'm about to die - ok I'm exaggerating. But even if i had a kidney infection or something serious my body would try to control it on its own and i would not have symptoms. I rarely ever get sick. So this is not good when you are looking for symptoms like fever or discharge and not having that...
I think this period was the hardest or maybe between 20 and 24 weeks. I felt 'ok i've made it to viability' but I didn't feel confident if I delivered around this time. Getting the diagnosis of BV and UTI had me googling and seeing that they could causes preterm labor. I had originally planned to do more around this time but after reading that I was overly cautious for weeks.
Also, I posted before I hit 24wks on the IC site I frequent asking about getting lenient around 24 wks. (and by getting more lenient I was going to start doing stairs twice a week). Most of the girls said if they ever did bedrest to do it between 24 and 28 or 24 and 32 weeks. To me, that was hard to hear because I had been good and doing bedrest since my cerclage at 12w4d when most of the girls on there don't put themselves on bedrest at all until things start going downhill. Some of their drs believe in bedrest, but my peri doesn't sound as cautious as some of their drs.
A girl on this site is 3 weeks ahead of me and she has been pretty strict with her bedrest like me. We talk and we had pretty much the same strategy (no stairs, ,showers every few days, etc). She lost twins last year in December and went through IVF/FET and transferred only one embryo this time. Recently she went to L&D and they put her on bedrest. I'm sure she felt like me that she had been so good this entire time and then she had bedrest anyway. Sometimes I think this will happen to me...I'm praying I don't have to do hospital bedrest, but I have been doing more.
So back to my point about timeline - IC rears its ugly head between 16 and 24 weeks (sometimes earlier like me). BUT 24-28 weeks is imperative for baby development, so you don't want to go into labor then. A lot of girls on the IC site have gone into labor between this period and had premies. I figure if I have been good this long, I could do a few more weeks.
So I decided to continue being conservative from 24-28weeks because of the infections. I did go out to dinner at 27 weeks (with my feet up on another chair) and did go over to my father in law's once a week during this time - to take a shower and visit him. Was inclined on his recliner the whole time... I stopped going outside my house to take a shower - at work - maybe around 25 or 26 weeks. It was perfect timing as it was starting to get colder outside and I didn't want to leave with wet hair. I could take a blow dryer, but that would mean standing up - my hair takes FOREVER to dry even with a blow dryer. I can't stand up for 30 min straight, etc.
I started taking a shower about the same - every 3 days until 28 weeks. 28 weeks I went upstairs and took a shower and stayed upstairs for a few days. I did a shower for 3 days straight - so nice. I probably took a shower during this timeframe every 2 days or so (after 28 weeks)
28-29 weeks I started going upstairs twice a week, I believe. This means I could take more showers. :)
29 weeks I went out for my birthday - DH dropped me off at the front of the restaurant and I sat outside until he parked. We went to a nice place - we had been planning it for awhile to go out if everything was ok with my cervical length.
Cervical length check at 28w5d was great so I kept doing what I was doing. Next check is at 32w3d and I plan to do stairs more before that time and then see how I'm reacting to it. If at any point, going upstairs puts me to have bh contx I would do less. Going down is fine.
I'm not sure what other helpful info I can put on here. Oh, I did start cooking more - maybe a meal once a week and nothing to difficult to cook.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

OB appt - 30w5d

My obgyn couldn't make it so I saw a nurse practioner (what is new).
She was a new one -or one I hadn't seen before and was pretty good.
Baby h/b was 145bpm
Belly measuring at 31 weeks - I always forget to ask them what the measurement was.
I haven't gained 1 pound in 2 weeks (!!). She said she wasn't concerned because of my diet changes. I'm supposed to be gaining 1/2 a pd a week.
Blood pressure is great. Urine is ok I think.
I told her I feel less movement and she just asked if I got 10 kicks a day - well yeah!!!!! But 1) I thought it was 10 kicks every 2 hrs and 2) I'm used to getting A LOT of kicks daily - 50-100 maybe. She said he may be running out of room or positioned differently.
I started walking daily to the mailbox. It's great because it hasn't given me BH contx and I haven't had discharge.
Oh, I only told my mom about having GD. She said that my sister had it with her last pregnancy (which was a boy and she was also 37 almost 38). My mom says 'everyone gets that'. Well maybe everyone in her family. :)

Saturday, November 15, 2008

30 week update

We went out to eat for my birthday last week. It was nice to go out to a very nice restaurant and I felt worried but still enjoyed myself. I did eat salmom and thought I ate pretty well.

Things are good, except I am officially diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I failed my 3 hr GTT this week.'s very upsetting.

So I have to follow a diet and get monitored more by my peri. I guess my first consultation is next week. I'm not complaining because I will do anything for this baby. Yeah I get to see my same peri's office so hopefully they can combine appts. I'm not sure if it means extra u/s or just monitoring my blood. I know a girl online gets non stress tests twice weekly.

I'm not very happy about it and I've read that 10% of women get this but I googled what could happen to the baby and it doesn't make me feel too good.

I have to admit my diet is not that great. DH doesn't cook anything that isn't easily able to be heated up. I am dependent on him for most of my meals and what he gets for me at the grocery store. I give him a list though. I can't blame him though. I am just used to eating what I want because I'm usually so active (run, walk, walk my dogs). I think the only reason I am getting this is because I am NOT active. Although my mom and my sister have pre-diabetes and if they had diabetes -I'm not sure they would tell me. My mom and my sister are overweight. Diabetes runs on my mom's side of the family. I've never had diabetes before.

So, yesterday I walked to my mail box and I'm going to try to start slowly to do more. I don't want to affect my cervix, but also it isn't healthy that I don't walk too much. I started doing stairs at my house about twice a week starting 2 weeks ago. I hope to do stairs almost daily starting in a few weeks.

I have gained a normal amount of weight in this pregnancy. Before I got pg last year I was a size 3 or 4...I was a size 2 when I got married. After I had the baby I had to lose the extra weight...when I got pg again this year I was probably a size 6. I'm also short. I ran a half marathon last year, so I'm pretty active.

On a happier note, I am still employed! I guess I'm ok with that. :) I don't like working especially right now, but I guess it means I can buy more stuff for the baby. I have been moved to a new manager. The positive thing is that I used to work for him informally before, so I know what he is like. I was scared he wouldn't let me work from home. In fact, we had a big mtg on Friday and I told him I couldn't go in for it. DH told me if they made me to just quit. So, my drs won't prescribe bedrest, so my last manager was kind enough to just let me work from home on her good faith. This new manager didn't ask me if it was dr. prescribed, he just said it was fine. It is still stressful since I will be doing a new job, but I hope between now and the baby's arrival - I can just skate by. I'm not sure that will be possible, but I need to not let myself get stressed (as I'm a workaholic and like doing a good job). With all my dr. appts, I'll be missing a lot of work. My new boss has 3 kids and he said he is very understanding about kids.

We haven't bought anything for the baby. I think I mentioned that my sister gave me boy clothes, but that's it. My mom bought us a stroller for our shower and it came last week, but when DH set it up it was damaged. We really liked the colors though (red and black). So, I ordered a replacement which won't be here until almost Christmas. I hope the baby doesn't come before that since it's a travel system (stroller and car seat). We bought a crib and a changer/dresser from a friend of DH's. We got it on Thursday and it isn't setup yet, but we really like it. It's great quality and we got a good deal. We have to do some carpet cleaning before we set it up and move some furniture. DH's friend also sold us a play yard for pretty cheap. We figured we needed an extra one when we visit family. It's a travel one. I hope to get one for us to always have downstairs, so this one would be an extra.

I have a shower next month which I'm looking forward to. I also have a couple's shower later next month.

Next post - what I did from 24-29 weeks.

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

28w5d Peri appt

Babies h/b was 153 bpm today.
I think he is measuring ahead, but I didn't write down what they calculated.
He is 2 lbs 15 oz. Yea!
His eyes were opening and closing and you could see that on u/s. DH thinks he looks like me and I think he looks like DH. His face is looking more recognizable. On a different note, we won't do the 3d u/s - we want to be surprised - although I know you can't exactly see what the babies look like on the 3d u/s.
He has no hair, but does have long eyelashes you could see on u/s.
Cervix is getting harder to see - but they measured it at 3.6cm. Of course, they do this on the abdomen, which isn't as accurate as TVU.

Bad news: I found out I failed my glucose test from yesterday - have to take the 3 hr test next week. I did eat right before my test, but instructions said that was ok.

They asked me if my baby was very active and I asked 'is it a bad thing if they move constantly'. There are times when he doesn't move though. But sometimes it scares me when he moves around too much. I think the election got him excited as he was kicking a lot last night and I might have had some bh contx. I guess he is an O.bama baby. I went to sleep before Obama's speech as I wanted to make sure the baby went to sleep.

I'm glad my cervical length is measuring good because I did go up the stairs on Friday and plan to go up again tomorrow maybe.

Forgot to mention you could see him practicing his breathing. U/s tech said 'he must be practicing for a marathon'. Funny she said that since both me and DH are runners.
He even covered his face when she started focusing on it.
I had them check yet again - 3rd time - if he was a boy (because friends and families keep asking me if I am sure.) LOL

Thanks for the support ladies!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Boring OB appt

Last time I went in - it was an emergency appt so I didn't see my dr.
Today, I took my gestational diabetes (GD) test before going into my appt. I don't know the results, but hope all is well.
I asked my dr a lot of questions - I forgot to bring a list of stuff so of course I forgot to ask him some stuff.
It took him awhile to find the h/b and I forgot to ask what it was. I just lied there with my eyes closed trying to listen to the h/b.
My obgyn thinks everything will be ok. He is very laid back. He has tattoos, crazy hair, and a soul p.atch. I have been seeing him for 15 years I guess. I trust him, but honestly he wasn't the best at getting me pg or even the expert on my issue. I strongly advise high risk girls to see a high risk obgyn or peri.
I asked him about my infections (BV and UTI) - he said urine looked great today (as I told my DH beforehand that it didn't look cloudy). I'm a wannabe dr. :)
He said those infections can't harm the baby and I was 'what if they get up into the uterus (as my last loss was due to an infection)'. He said 'well not those kind'.
He said he is glad I got the cerclage and maybe it is helping me, but maybe not. He said it is just a safetynet, but it could be the reason I have made it this far. Gee thanks. I told him 'well I don't know if you know but my cervix was opening from the bottom at 12w4d when I had the cerclage placed'. He said 'i didn't know that but that can happen in normal ppl and its worse if it is opening from the top.' I honestly think I would have lost another baby without the cerclage. He said 'but some women have issues with the cerclage like PTL or infection'.
I asked him about the baby's head being down -as it was down already at 24w3d and he said 'that's great - it should be doing that'.
I had diarrhea this weekend and he said it wasn't a sign of labor and it is fine.
I like boring appts. I'm at the point where I'll be seen every 2 weeks now. Tomorrow I see my high risk peri.
Oh, he asked if my peri had offered to do steroids. I said 'believe me I've asked him but he said no unless things start going badly'. He said 'well he is the expert, so I would go with what he says'.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Ok, my last chance to inform undecided voters...

If you don't know who to vote for and you don't know whether to believe emails that are sent to you (that obama doesn't like the national anthem or that he pals with bill ayers) - GO TO

This is a non-partisan website that evaluates claims from both sides and sees if there is truth to the allegations.

Please, America, make an informed choice tomorrow - we all will be stuck with our decision for at least 4 years. I will respect the choice if there is a fair vote -as this is who everyone will have chosen.

The reason I am posting this is because my FIL just sent an email to DH saying he believed one of the emails sent to him regarding the flag/national anthem. He already voted so no hope for him to change his mind there, but maybe there are people out there who haven't voted and can change their mind.

Whoever you vote for - just know the facts.

Friday, October 31, 2008

28 weeks later!

Happy Halloween - I'm 28 weeks!!!!

I can't believe I have made it this far.

I love this movie and the first one -28 days later. I think I mentioned before I love zombie movies. DH won't let me watch scary movies while pg (although I have some of this week). I've had so many zombie or vampire nightmares (more in early pregnancy) that DH doesn't think its healthy for the baby. I think the baby likes to be entertained at night. My dreams are crazy and sometimes I wake up and I think 'i am bored with that dream, but maybe the baby was entertained'. :)

Even with all the scary movies I've seen this week -especially on AMC -this week I've had election night -nighmares! I'll be glad when this election is over and I hope it isn't as close as I think it will be. I really don't want a repeat of 2000 where it comes down to a few votes. I hope there are no voting related issues.

On another note, why is it only republicans send stupid chain emails? I get these from relatives and friends from the dark side (just kidding). I don't get emails from democrats. My FIL believes all these emails he gets. I just hate chain mails in general but ones with lies are just intolerable.

Another 28 made the news this week - the P.hillies hadn't won the world series in 28 years! I was going for T.ampa Bay, but it is cool that the P.hillies won. I don't really watch b.aseball.

I go to the dr. twice next week (peri and obgyn), so I hope all is well with the baby and I'll have some updates on those appts.

How fair is it that I have my GD test on Monday? I won't be able to eat a lot of halloween candy. Boo...

Don't forget to change your clocks back on Saturday!

4- 24 weeks (continued)

Ok, blame pregnancy brain but I probably forgot some of this.
*Again disclaimer : this is what I did, but it may not work for you. You have to listen to your body*

How often I stayed down: I worked on my computer for work while lying down sideways - this kinda hurts my back but it worked for me. I didn't like lifting my computer to put on my lap - even with my laptop desk. I would ask DH to put my laptop on the couch daily so I didn't have to lift it. I would get up to go to the bathroom or to heat up a quick snack, but otherwise I would stay horizonal on one side. If I lied down, I would try to stay that way for 30 min as usually I had to go to the bathroom around that time (then I would change positions - lie on other side). Sometimes I have to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes, so it's a lot of getting up. I'm not sure if I lied down more than I should for modified bedrest, but I probably was leaning more towards strict bedrest.

Sneezing: Did I mention this last time? I tried to sneeze lying down as sneezing and coughing puts pressure on the cervix.

My drs: My peri said don't do bedrest and my obgyn said do very little but don't do bedrest. I think I might have mentioned this on the other post, not sure. Both drs never agreed on how conservative to be. My peri is not conservative.

Doppler: I wish I had one sometimes. I didn't want to get one because when my water broke last time, my baby's heart was still beating. Before I started getting regular kicks, I think having a doppler would have put my mind at ease. Even after getting regular kicks, there were times when I didn't have kicks and I worried.

Pelvic pain: I forgot to mention that I had pelvic pain around 20 - 23 weeks. My dr had no idea what it was. The nurse at my peri's office said that sometimes when things get loose down there you hear a lot of popping. It may be my age, but what she described is what I get - popping sound when I get up plus pain really low. She said it was like a turkey bone stretching out and popping. Mine was not sciatic pain, it was more pain related to this. What I did to fix this?: I slept with a pillow between my legs and still do. I find this pain is much better but I had some tough days where it hurt to walk between 21 and 23 weeks. It could have been the baby pushing down too, as I was told a week later that the baby was head down. But my cervical length was fine during this time, it is just that I felt the baby more down in my pelvis. Here's a link to kinda what I was feeling.
I'm not sure this is the best website, but what I had was a pelvic pain and not sciatic.

Next wed or thurs. I'll have my 24-28 week update on what I did. Thanks for reading my blog, if you do. :)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Praise my husband day!

My DH gets frustrated a lot since he has to do everything around the house, but I know he will do whatever he has to. We do get frustrated with each other.
I think he understands that bedrest is hard for me and I'm just not being lazy all day. I do work full time - but I have been flaking at work lately. :)
I do the bare minimum and try not to get frustrated with incompetent coworkers mainly c.onsultants that I work with. I'm very much a workaholic so it is hard for me not to get stressed over stuff not getting done - whether that's around the house or at work. I'm just a control freak probably. I have to let it go and not let myself get stressed with anything. That isn't to say I'm a neat freak and/or my house is spotless because it's not. I just want it cleaner than it is, but DH does a pretty good job.
DH told me that if I get laid off (which could happen at my job as there are some cutbacks), that it would be ok and I could take a few months off with the baby. I was told I would be ok - at least for the mean time at work. So it may be a blessing in disguise if I am laid off. DH was sweet yesterday when he said 'don't worry if you get laid off - don't let it upset you'. I like working and will eventually go back to work if that happened. Financially, we would be ok - we have little bills and my DH can support both of us.
Today he called to say he got the Mind you, he has never gotten it - or he may have but not in the past five years. Every year he gets sick, but I'm not sure it is the flu. I think he gets a sinus infection. I told him that was sweet that he got it to protect me and the baby. I'm not getting one as I don't trust them but that is another post. I got my flu shot last year the day I went into labor -not sure it helped if I had an existing infection (although we all know that the shot doesn't cause the flu). :) I'm going to pass this year because 1)every year I get the shot I get sick. - not necessarily the flu. Last year I got sick, but not sure if it was the shot, the loss of the baby or something else. It wasn't the flu. 2) not sure I ever had the flu 3) I'm on house arrest so I'm not exposed to too many germs right now.

On another subject:
It is still hard for me to believe that there will be a baby in 13 weeks or less. (10 weeks from today I get my cerclage out) I'm not prepared at all for the baby. Nothing - nursery, baby seat, etc. My sister gave me some clothes though. I wonder when I can be happy and finally thinking that everything will work out - maybe when the baby is in my arms.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Can I blame Joe six pack?

Ok, so we live in a free country and you can vote for whomever you want. That's the beauty of the US and everyone has an opinion.
But I think that if we vote for McCain that we will have more years of the same. I don't believe is giving big business tax breaks and those who look after their interests.
McCain acts as if he is interested in funding for special needs kids (like Sarah's down syndrome baby). I've never heard of republicans backing this type of funding, so I doubt it would happen. I do agree McCain is not Bush and things could be better. He is a good guy personally, but I don't think he is what our country needs.
My DH says Obama is the better choice in the eyes of Europe and the rest of the world. Let me just say that my DH normally never votes but we agree on politics. The world laughs at our picks and I've read something how they were excited that we had picked a female VP. They don't understand why we haven't elected a woman before. But once they got to know her and know she only got a passport in 2006, they were not impressed. Do we want her to be within a heartbeat of presidency? I'm all for women in office and strong women who can work and have kids, but she is not the right pick.
As most know who read my blog, that I was going for Hillary and Obama took time to grow on me. But I think he is the right choice. I hope that after the recent debates, people at least are not undecided anymore.
Can I blame joe the plumber and joe six pack if we get 4 more years of the same? We know who joe the plumber is voting for. I mean this happens every 4 years and then people regret their decision when the country is in a hole. McCain is pretty old and he makes faces (rolls his eyes) quite a bit. I find that immature and that comes out on the debates. From someone who is sarcastic and rolls her eyes a lot, it isn't the right thing to do in interviews, debates or when running for president. Ok, enough political blogging, this site is not for that purpose.
My birthday falls around e.lection day and I'm not using my b.irthday w.ish on the election. I did that before and it didn't turn out well - remember 2000. That's a great story that I won't post on this blog.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Under 100 days!

I have 99 days left. I still have good days and bad days.

A girl on a forum I frequent lost her daughter at 21weeks+ and she had a cerclage. I feel so bad for her and I'm not sure it ever helps my confidence to read bad news while pregnant. It's so unfair. My heart goes out to her and her family. This is her 2nd loss.

I hope I can do early voting - if the lines aren't long as I don't want to stand. There is no way that I can do regular voting as the lines in my district are long. I was going to try to do absentee voting, but it made it complicated to apply for that. I had to mail or fax something in -which I really can't do. Of course, I can ask my DH to do this but he does SO MUCH already - I hate asking him for extra stuff. He does the grocery shopping, feeding our two dogs, dishes, cleaning, laundry, drives me for showers and to the dr.

Have a good week everyone!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Milestones this week...

Yesterday, was 12 weeks since my cerclage placement. That means 12 weeks of modified bed rest. Wow...

Today is 12 weeks until my cerclage is removed-dec. 31st. I pray I can hold out the remaining 12 weeks. That seems like a long time, but I won't be on modified bedrest the remaining 12 weeks (hopefully).

I'm taking two types of antibiotics and so far so good. I feel that me and the baby will be ok. I kept googling today and found out that some people are prone to getting UTIs - people with s.ickle cell t.rait. I haven't been tested but I'm pretty sure I have that as my sisters do. I always tell my drs and they never think having this trait causes anything.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Why can't things ever go smoothly?

On Friday, the baby was kicking a lot and I'm not sure if I was feeling pain. Saturday, I had it a little bit of pain but didn't know if it was pain or just the baby's hard kicks. Sunday I had cramping at night, but didn't want to go to L&D as I know they will do a manual check and I really don't trust the oncall drs to not do that - as they don't understand I'm high risk and I have a cerclage.

So, I made an appt on Monday with my obygn. I couldn't see him though, just a nurse practioner.

I left a urine sample and I told DH that my urine was cloudy and I thought I might have an infection. They found blood and white blood cells in my urine so wanted to do a pelvic exam. I was so scared as my obgyn usually doesn't even want to do these while I'm pregnant. They told me since I was having cramping they should definitely check. I finally felt OK to let her check because I really hate seeing nurse practioners (nothing against them - i know there are good ones out there but I've had bad experiences in the past). She found some discharge (white) in my vagina and tested it for bacterial vaginosis (BV). It was positive for that. I wasn't having any discharge or bleeding. She also said I have a UTI. I got antibiotics for both. I didn't have burning or itching - only symptom was cramping on sunday night - no cramping yesterday. I've read that BV doesn't sometimes have symptoms. They told me that people who have sex may know that they have this sooner than those of us that don't have sex.

Please spare a prayer or thought (for the non-religious) for me and my baby. I hope (and think) we will be OK, but it is scary. Many pregnant ladies get UTI and/or BV, but they are not high risk like me. I got an infection that caused my water to break last time (baby had an infection of the amniotic fluid). The only saving grace that I have now is that I have a cerclage which is keeping my cervix closed very tightly. I've read that having BV can increase the chance for preterm labor and/or rupture of membranes and/or preterm delivery (before 37 wks). That is the part that scares me.

Some positive things I have found on the internet: (I need to stop googling though)
*If found early, BVs are not a major issue if treated while pregnant.
*My cervix was closed, so that is a good thing.
*Many women get this while pregnant. 10-30% I think I read.
*I asked the women on my board yesterday and one had it in the 2nd trimester while pregnant. That does provide me some comfort that some have this and then go on to deliver a baby.
*I've read that it is more common with cerclages. It sometimes happen when people have sex which I AM NOT. They told me at the drs office that people with cerclages are more prone to this as the cerclage keeps things moist down there.
*I'm glad that they found it (as I didn't want her to give me a pelvic exam). By the way, she didn't check manually which was great.
*I'm glad I listened to my body and went in.

Dr's office don't seem concerned. They aren't seeing me until another 4 weeks. Peri's office (nurse) called to check up on me after I let them know I was going in to see my obgyn. They said I could go in there next time maybe - but my peri was out yesterday. They also weren't too concerned.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

4 -24wks - what I did

****Disclaimer***** This is what I did to get to 24 weeks. It may not work for you. Everyone is different and they have to do what they feel comfortable with (and listen to their body). This is mainly for me to document on what I did to get to 24weeks with an incompetent cervix and a cerclage.
When I first found out that I was pregnant, my RE said no acupuncture and no travel - not even to a city 1 hr from where I live -before first u/s. I had to make a decision to take some heat and miss a planned vacation and an important family event. My DH has been very supportive. I couldn't have made it this long without his help.

My mom told me to be selfish and to do what was right for me and baby, so I decided modified bed rest with no travel at all even after first u/s. This upset my friends and family as they didn't know I was pregnant at the time. I had to throw a party for my boss at work, but decided to leave early as it was smokey. I was about 5 wks. I had to make excuses not to go to lunch everyday - more on that later...

4-12 weeks - I went up stairs only once a day (once down and once up). I had to make an exception right before my cerclage as I had to get some bloodwork and my paperwork was upstairs. I went up sideways even starting at 4wks. I came down slowly but the regular way.
I went up the day after my cerclage at 12w5d. I had some bh contx I believe from going upstairs. I stayed up there for 2 weeks until my follow up appt at 14w4d. DH brought me food and I had a microwave upstairs to heat up food. He just left me food daily in a cooler.
I went up after my checkup at 14w5d or 14w6d and stayed upstairs until 16 week appt with my obgyn.
I had to do stairs at my peri's off at my 14w4d checkup - one flight - but a lot of stairs. In hindsight, I should have cancelled my appt or just waited as they fixed the elevator shortly after my appt. I had bh contx that I didn't recognize while having my checkup that they could see on my u/s.
Lots of people do stairs with no problems, but I think people should minimize stairs.
I do plan to do stairs more at around 27/28 weeks. (if I feel up to it and don't get bh contx).

I did go out to each lunch with people, but there were a lot of variables which you can never control. Long lines, driving with others who don't drive well, etc...
I tried to minimize going out to lunch with coworkers to maybe twice a week. I stopped completely at 12w.

**Cervix and how it behaved**
I had to listen to my body and know what was normal for me. I had vaginal discharge daily - usually after BM. Then I started having some if I did too much - standing too long. A few days before my surgery, I went to a hotel with my DH (in my same city). I started feeling weird down there, so I tried to lay down as much as possible, but we did go out to breakfast and to dinner. On the day of my surgery - 2 days later - my cervix was opening from the bottom. It could have been what I felt, although drs say you can't really feel your cervix dialating.

**Grocery shopping**
I stopped going with DH around 8 weeks and made him go by himself (probably for the rest of the pregnancy). I make him a list and he is pretty good about getting stuff that I can eat. When I did go before 8 weeks, I didn't lift anything. I also tried to walk slowly. I had some discharge one time which is why I stopped going.

Tan discharge after BM almost daily. I started taking colace daily mainly after my cerclage to keep me regular. I think it helped, but every BM was scary for me (and still is). I still had days where the colace didn't do the job, but I didn't take as much as others do. I hate taking stuff while pregnant.
After my cerclage, I had a different type of discharge and that was my new norm. I had it usually after BM. I also had it when going to get a shower and eating out. I also had it usually more about once a week.

**Exercise or even walking - from a former runner***
NONE. Minimized even walking from the beginning. Not even to my mailbox or around my neighboorhood with my dogs. I might have gone for a quick walk once, but stopped it pretty early.

**Leaking fluid**
I had leaking fluid from day 1 on this pregnancy. I had it on my last pregnancy too, but my RE had explained to me that it was excess estrogen (since I was taking estradiol during my IVF pregnancy). All 3 of my drs. could never explain why I had this - this time. DH asked RE if it could be amniotic fluid (since that happened w/us last time) and RE said if it was there would be none around the baby (that early) and baby wouldn't be there. It was my norm, but scary. I had time that I didn't know if it was amniotic fluid. One time (16 wks) I was dying to check at the obgyn's office, but he told me to wait it out as he didn't want to put anything in my vagina. I agreed with that approach. I waited for my big u/s at 18w4d and they told me my fluid was just fine. I then knew it was probably just urine and my normal. I had to wear liners everyday so far this entire pregnancy. I'm not a dr. but the only thing I can think of is more soy in my diet. I was eating a ton of cheezits and they have soy in them - so does all processed foods like junkfood and chips- check your labels. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, but I think I was getting a lot in my diet. I also eat vegetarian a lot and I could be eating things that had soy or tofu in it. Again, I'm not a dr. and my drs. have never told me this. This is just something that I have thought. I had more leaking when sitting upright - like going out to eat, etc. I have tried limiting my soy and I seem to have it less.

**Eating out**
I minimized eating out after 14w4d, but did go out to eat when we went to the obgyn or peri. I also went sometimes with DH when I went for a shower. I had to leave my house for a shower since I don't have one downstairs. I WAS SO NERVOUS going out to eat - scared if I broke my water in a restaurant. It was just hard to enjoy going out to eat - something my DH and I do a lot normally. I stopped going out to eat - even the only once a wk that I went - at around 19 weeks. I had more discharge when sitting up. I'll try to eat out more now - but probably starting at 27 wks or so (even then just once a week). I will only continue to go if I feel up to it and not scared and not enjoying the experience.

None. Peri said I could. Obgyn said not to. We didn't once we found out we were pregnant. In fact, during first trimester and early 2nd trimester, I had some orga$ms in my sleep and they gave me bh contx and one time caused a bleeding episode (although I'm not 100% sure that is what caused it). I tried to watching boring stuff and still do - nothing with sex in it.

Lying on the couch for most of the day except for bathroom breaks and to heat up something quick. Unfortunately, I ate a lot of frozen dinners which have soy and not great ingredients. I tried to eat mainly organic, but I did eat a lot of frozen dinners that were not organic.
My drs said to NOT do bedrest and that I was normal. Unfortunately, I don't trust drs. so I did what was right me. Male drs. don't understand what we went through with our loss last time. I'm not sure even female drs would get it - only those who have been through a loss understand. I'm not sure they can ever understand how scared we are. Women blame themselves even if it isn't their fault (I did too much, what if I didn't do this, etc). Drs HATE recommending bedrest. In fact, my peri said I could get a blood clot and die. I still could, but I hope I don't. I do lie down more than I probably should.

**After placement**
I had cramping the night of my cerclage. I opted not to take pain meds. I did take a week of antibiotics. I had diarrhea the next day with some gushing, but they told me it was normal. I had red/pink bleeding right afterwards and for days some pink spotting. I had spotting for probably a week or more after the cerclage. It felt like I had a tampon for a few weeks after placement.
I had movement pretty low around 16-20 weeks. Dr. said that was normal.

I worked a normal schedule until 12 weeks. A few days before 12 weeks, I asked my manager if I could work from home. She agreed. I am still working from home, but I did take a week vacation (not that I went anywhere - just didn't think about work). I took a week off on my 20th week. I have a stressful job, but it is a desk job that I can do reclined. I'm thankful I was able to work from home. I've done it before with my current job, so they knew I was pretty good at working from home.

After cerclage, I tried to take a shower every other day. DH said 'why can't you take one daily'. I said because I think I need to minimize showers. I did take quick showers - from a person who normally took long showers.
Since 16wks, I've been downstairs and leaving my house to go take a shower about every 4 days. I go to work which has a shower that has a seat - although I just started using the seat over the last 3 wks. Since I only take a shower every 4 days, I take about a 7-10 min shower. I plan to increase my showers once I go upstairs - maybe every 2 days....

Lean on them as much as you can. We had people who brought over food for us. My mom cooked a few meals for me. Without help, it would have even been harder...NO ONE understands what you mean when you say 'i'm on bedrest' until they visit you (and in my case - seeing where I sleep). I had people who said 'can't you meet up for lunch' or family who wanted me to visit them. I'm like 'i'm on bedrest I don't leave my house and I don't drive'. They never seemed to get it. Even after some people visited, they still didn't get it, but it did help when they came over to see 'our world'.

I'm not sure I could do this again. Of course, I'm just concentrating on this baby, but I still think could I do this again. I probably could if I had a house that had a bedroom downstairs. We do plan to move in the next few years, but I'm not sure if that will help. I can't even imagine doing what I did with a small baby or a toddler. I don't have the advantage of waiting 5 years before having another baby (I'm almost 36). I really don't ever want to do IVF again. I could change my mind, but I really don't think I would.
I made a countdown of days -one until viability, one until 28 weeks, etc (short goals). After 28 weeks, I will have one until 32, etc. I also made a calendar and crossed out the entire month when it was over. I visualized me crossing out each month every few days.
I also have a countdown of weeks.
I have some mantras I have written down that help me when I am down (cerclage is strong, cerclage will hold, my cervical length is long, my baby grows strong each day, it's in God's hands, don't worry about what others think).

I won't lie - the cerclage and bedrest are the hardest things I have had to do in my life. It will be worth it, but it isn't easy. The last 20 days before viability were extremely difficult. I had good days and bad days. The next month will be hard too as I try to keep doing what I have been doing.

I'm sure I will have forgotten something, so I'll try to add posts related to the heading on this one.

Friday, October 3, 2008

24 weeks - Viability!

24 weeks - Viability!

I'm not a race car fan, but I thought it was cool this came out yesterday on the Today show. 24!!!

I'm so scared to have the baby between now and 28 weeks. Baby needs to stay in until at least my stitch comes out - December 31st.

Thank God for keeping this baby inside me! When I first got pregnant I prayed the rosary and it provided some comfort to me. (54 day novena)

My mom says that I'm like a chicken sitting on her eggs. This pregnancy has been hard, but it will be worth it once the baby is here safely.

Next post (sorry I lied last time) will have what I did that helped me get to 24 weeks. I hope to post this later today.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

23w5d peri appt

So far so good...
Cervix was measuring at 3.3cm I believe. No funneling. That seems longer than last time, but I'm not sure the sonographer is the best at measuring. She kinda rushes everything. I had a different one today than I normally do. I don't trust her measurement to be honest.
She couldn't get good pics of the baby - DH said her pics suck compared to other sonographer.
H/B was 169 - had to ask my peri as she didn't even tell me that.
When she measured the baby's head I saw it said 25w, but she told me 'you are 23 wks pg'. I said 'I hope more than that' and she was kinda rude saying 'well I never say the days because it freaks people out'. Uhhh, I think it freaks people out if you only say the weeks, but it could be me.
Another nurse came in before my peri as he was running late. It was the nurse I hadn't seen at all during this pregnancy who I had last time when we had the loss. I don't care for her much. She just answered some questions and asked if we wanted to wait for peri as he was running late.
We waited for peri although it was kinda a long wait - I almost wanted to go home.
He came in and told us that the baby was measuring 23w6d and everything looked good.
He said 2 appts and then on my 3rd appt the stitch comes out. I think they kind messed up on my appts for the rest of the year. They said my stitch comes out on Dec. 31st, but it should come out at 36 weeks, and that is 36w5d, but maybe they just don't care as long as it is in the week of 36. I was arguing with them because originally they scheduled it at 38 weeks. I'll ask them on my next visit if 36w5d is correct. I just don't want to go into labor with the stitch in, but most girls on the IC boards get it taken out at 37 wks.
They told me to call with any spotting as that usually means cervical change.
I pray I don't have any at all. I'm going to take it easy for the next few weeks and then try to do a little more.
My next post will say what I did from 4wks to 24 wks. It is mainly for me to document how I got to 24 wks.
Happy October!!!!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My favorite TV shows

Ok, not sure why this is important, but I wanted to write down the shows that I watch as the new season approaches. It is something to focus on. What are your favorite shows - still showing or not?

I watch and I love:
*Dexter - love the writing
*Weeds - gone downhill but still interesting to me
*Terminator - I love the terminator movies.
*Brothers and Sisters - I love how they have dealt with infertility, pregnancy loss, and adoption
*How I met your mother

Other things that I watch, but it's ok if I miss an episode:

*Desperate Housewives
*Dancing with the Stars
*Millionaire & Jeopardy- when I am bored during the day
*The Doctors - I started watching this - some of the stuff on there I don't care for.

Things I like to watch, but don't always get to: (not just TV)
*Old movies
*60s movies my mom made me watch - Elvis or Beach movies
*Old Twilight Zone episodes - LOVE THEM! I watched some of the newer ones that they are showing again. One seriously disturbed me...
*Scary movies - love zombie movies

What about you? I watch a lot of tv lately -not good - but such is my life. I am sure I missed some shows that I watch.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Good news!

I had an ordinary obgyn appt today. No u/s, so just hoping my CL is good. I told my dr. that I feel growing pains down low, but he said this is normal growing pains and some people have more pain down low with a cerclage. I asked him if I could feel if my cervical length was shrinking and he said probably not. He said that spotting/bleeding is a good indicator of cervical change. As long as I don't have that, he isn't concerned. Thank God for that!

Ok, so for the good obgyn surprised me that he is moving to a new facility. It's closer to my house! Yea! But that isn't the best part...the hospital he will be delivering babies is also near my house and very nice. Also they have a new Labor & Delivery area opening in November at this hospital. He said it will be the best place in my city to deliver a baby. It's not a catholic hospital like my last one, but that is ok. I liked my last hospital as the facilities were nice and people were very compassionate. But change is good as we didn't have a good outcome at the last hospital.
I've been to that hospital before visitng a friend who had a baby and my FIL who was there. I would say it is about 2 miles away - so close. will have a great NICU -hopefully I won't need that, but it is good to know it will be there.
I'm excited for a change.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Stuck in high school...

I called my grandmother yesterday to tell her that I was pregnant and one of my aunts. My grandmother is in her 90s and when I first started talking to her she said 'I was thinking about you yesterday that you are pregnant'. I told her that I am pregnant. It's kinda weird she thought that, but I think someone might have told her but her brain is getting old now. Who knows?
It is very difficult to call her because she cries a lot when I call. I think it is half tears of joy though. I don't call her that often because honestly it is difficult to endure a phone call where someone is constantly crying on the other end. I started crying of course and it isn't something I want to do too much when I'm pregnant. I was dreading the call, but glad it was short and she was happy that I called. She is not a very nice MIL to my mother. Her son is perfect - everything that could be attributed to him - the blame is placed on my mom. We have a weird relationship. I'm apparently her favorite as I look like her son and her husband who passed away. But I don't always feel the love from her...I do love her though.
She is so 'old school'. I hate it when people don't know they are saying stuff that is mean, but it is. She always tells me (like every time I call her for one year now and even yesterday) 'that's good you are pregnant, people should always have 1-2 children, but no more and no less'. Of course, after I lost my son, these words didn't provide me hope. I let her pass with her comments as she is old and she doesn't know how to be PC. Her sister had one child and had a lot of difficult even getting pregnant. Her other sister never had children.

We told one of our friends yesterday who had kinda lost touch with us for about a year. It is DH's friends and he just kinda wasn't happy with them so he cut communication w/them (but they also didn't communicate much w/us). They called yesterday to tell us they wanted to visit and show us their 1yr3m old son. We told them our news.

I told one of my high school friends yesterday. It's funny how people our self centered. She is very much like my sister. I talked to her for 1 hr and it was 50 mins about her and 10 min about me (or less). Not too balanced...She also says things like 'well i'm a mom so i have to buy my kids, xyz and that is expensive'. We are the same age, but one of her children is a teenager. Anyway, she calls me back and I don't answer as I'm in the bathroom. I thought 'maybe she is calling back to offer to have a shower for me'. I already have a family shower in the works and maybe another shower from a friend, so I don't need another one. I should know better. I checked the message and she is calling to tell me that she got an email for our 20 yr r.eunion. I did not call her back for that. :) I wouldn't go anyway - I didn't go to our 10 yr r.eunion. Why would I go to this one? She is so stuck in high school and I'm not, so our phone calls are always 'oh so and so got divorced or had another baby, etc'. First of all, I didn't graduate 20 yrs ago. I have a few years to go. :)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Ok, I have to comment....

Ok, I wasn't going to have this blog be political, but I have to speak up.
I think children are not necessarily off limits when evaluating a candidate. If they say that is true, then why did we find out that Dick Cheney's daughter was lesbian years ago. Ok, so they didn't spend that much time on that new story, but it is news if you put yourself in the public spotlight. Ok, so maybe his daughter was not a minor, but still. If she doesn't have time to spend talking to her daughter about sex, does she have time to lead our nation?
Running for VP or prez, you are putting yourself out there. (like a celebrity). If angelina jolie had a daughter that was pregnant at 17, that would be news too.
Private lives are out there - if they weren't why would we know about john edward possibly fathering a child or bill clinton having oral sex.
But I do agree with the republicans in that, nobody ever asks about who many children a man has and if it is affecting his workload. At work, I see this a lot. Women get the short end of that stick and that is SEXIST. She can do the job even if she has 5 kids. (but I do think how she treats her kids should be examined).
I was for Hillary as most know who read my blog in the past, but I won't vote for Sarah Palin just because she is a women. Unfortunately for the republicans, women in the US are smarter than that. (to pick someone based on gender). Women are constantly underestimated. I will not vote for Sarah Palin because she is a women. I'm not 100% that I want to vote for obama, but you know what Sarah Palin isn't impressing me so far. I will wait and see.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Happy Labor Day!

I read a whole book yesterday! That's a pretty big deal for me - i'm not a big reader. I wish I read more - I do have more time w/bedrest now.
It was an easy book and very short. :)
'The Last Lecture' by Randy Pausch. I loved it and could really relate. He was a computer science teacher and I was a computer programmer. Such good advice on living life and enjoying each day...I had read about him in Parade magazine a few months back. I highly recommend it. I hope my DH reads it soon.

I went for my weekly shower today - the water was very cold -we go to where I work - not sure if the hot water just wasn't working. It was still nice to have a shower.
Yea -holiday tomorrow!!! It will be relaxing not to work.
I had some visitors on Friday afternoon. It's great to have visitors, but still tiring for me as people can be very loud.

My neighbors were having a party yesterday and we aren't close with them. They are loud. I could write more but I won't. They are single people-not sure how many live there. I'm just glad they didn't have music on very loudly as they usually do. They were yelling stupid stuff out though. I started laughing when it started pouring rain- as they were all out there swimming in their pool and enjoying the sun. Then I thought that my DH was out biking and probably also got poured on.

I'm praying for those in New Orleans as they are getting hit again. I hope everyone could get out this time - even the people without money or transportation.

A year ago tomorrow is the day I had my IVF transfer.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Big u/s results

Had big u/s today. They confirmed I am having a boy. I guess they were right 4 weeks ago.
CL was 3.0 - that is ok for me. Down from last time, but same girl who measured it last time and measured it short measured it today-so I'm thinking it is around 3.0 or maybe slightly higher if peri had measured it.
I told the nurse and peri that I feel movement very low - but have read others have that too with a cerclage. Peri says baby could be kicking my bladder or cervix. They said my uterus is still low, so movement will be lower until 24 wks. I feel very little movement so far. Just some taps here and there...but I get scared when I get the movement that low. I usually just lie down more when I have this.
No funneling.
Baby is measuring 9 oz and had a h/b of 163.
Baby is measuring 19w2d - 4 days ahead.
Baby's heart and brain seem good.
We talked w/the peri afterwards. He thinks I am a 'normal pregnant person' now. He said 'no more baby drama for you'. Well, I'll still do what I have been doing until 24 weeks. It is working I think. I will go up my stairs around 24 wks.
Peri says he won't see me for 5 or 6 weeks. I'm scared to go that long, but trust his judgment. Honestly, I can't go every week because I'm doing everything possible as-is to keep the baby inside. So if my CL dropped suddenly, it would hard for me to be stricter with my activities. So, the way I look at it is that I would rather have less dr. appts as getting in the car and walking around brings on BH contractions for me and/or irritable uterus.
We stopped to grab a bite on the way - a quick restaurant where I didn't have to stand long.
I asked peri about steroid shots at 24 wks and he won't give them to me unless things start going badly. I asked him about delivery of a premie - what if my water broke - which hospital should I go to. He said that won't be an issue. He is confident I'll go until 2 weeks after my cerclage is removed at 36 wks. (I'm more than halfway there!!!) He said just go to my normal hospital and I would be transferred if I delivered before 36 wks.
I've been leaking urine since the start of this pregnancy. The more water I drink the more I notice this. Peri said he doesn't know why, but it can happen and it will just get worse as my bladder has less room because of the baby's growth. None of my drs seem to know why i have this - it isn't when i sneeze or cough as they usually expect. My amniotic fluid was perfect so that calms my fears that it could be a slow amniotic leak. Yea! That is what I worried about two weeks ago when I visited my obgyn and they didn't want to do the amniotic fluid test or an u/s to check it out.
I wish I could have my peri's confidence. I do trust him more though. So far so good...

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Are we so different?

On inside edition today, they were showing video of a gorilla whose baby had died at 3 months old. She was mourning the loss of her son. Inside Edition said he had a heart condition, but this article didn't say that.

It was so heartbreaking to see and brought some tears to my eyes.

Here is an article that talks about the heart defect:

So sad...

Monday, August 18, 2008

Yea - it's raining!

Ok, as most of you know, I prefer the sun to the rain - hence the name of my blog, but it's summer and I live in a hot state in the south. It hasn't rained for awhile - well really good...

It just started pouring - yea!! They predicted 6-8 inches where I live over the next 5 days and I hope we will get it. The weather people have been really wrong lately though. I seriously doubt we will get that much.

I usually water plants, trees, etc, but since I'm on bedrest DH doesn't water them but I agree with him there isn't much point with how dry it is here. We just hate wasting water. Our grass is like hay. My trees will love the rain!

I am glad it is raining for another reason - because it will bring down our temperatures. Even inside, I feel hot - even with the a/c on. I always feel hot even when I'm not pregnant. DH says I'm always hot that's why I rarely get sick. He thinks viruses can't live in my body.

The raining has already stopped - please more rain!!!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Sorry I have to vent

Although I told my sister (well one of them) not to tell anyone - she has told all her friends. I figured she would, she doens't respect people's right to tell news on their own timeframe. Oh well, I can't control it. My mom is visiting her and told me that everyone seems to know. My sisters friends are like sisters to her, so she thinks it is fine to tell them. I told her today it was a boy and I'm sure she will tell her friends.
My DH said I might as well tell my friends - as only a few of my friends now. And I haven't told my coworkers either...
I haven't been sleeping well, but it is hard to sleep downstairs on the couch which isn't very comfortable. Our couch is leather, but not too comfortable to sleep on. I usually wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. This happened on Friday morning and I told my DH in the morning that I couldn't stop thinking about work issues and that if I didn't call in sick for part of the day - I would go insane. I think I was having BH contractions because of the stress.
So Friday, I worked from 8am - 11am and then said I was 'sick'. I think it will help my coworkers if they know I'm pregnant because they will hassle me less to do things that others should be doing. I felt so good after not thinking about work the rest of the day. I slept. I told them I would work part of this weekend, but I hope I don't.
I really don't want the stress to get to me and especially the baby, but I am a workaholic and it is hard for me to not think about work issues. It's hard for me to turn this off. DH can do that easily, but I always want to do a good job.
One of our friends came over on Friday. They brought us dinner and spent time watching the olympics with us. I like having visitors, but they can get loud. Loud noises usually affect the baby (like our dogs barking). I was pretty ok with it though and glad to see my friends. My friend's DH touched my belly for a good amount of time. It's funny because he doesn't want kids, but seems excited for us. It was the first time someone touched my belly - besides my DH.
I told DH that I feel like I'm not gaining weight. I'm not too hungry to eat. I told him I think I lost weight - gaining it in my belly area, but losing it on my legs. He agreed that I lost weight in other places. Bedrest doesn't increase my appetite, but I'm forcing myself to eat more. I ate a big burger today, but didn't finish it. But I think the milkshake I ate will help... :)
Our friends had a party last week and some other friends (not close friends) had a party the week before and we missed both. So, apparently the friends that know kept their mouth shut, but told me that our other friends are bitching that we hate them. I don't really want to tell those other friends since they aren't that close and they are being jerks about things. Little things like that bother me too. I emailed both guys (since I'm friends more with the guys - former coworkers) and said something kinda rude implying my friend told me what they said about us. I said 'I promise we aren't avoiding you'...
One of the guys I wrote the above in a nice way, but he wrote back saying 'well it just seems like you guys are avoiding us at every party'. So that is when I wrote something not exactly rude but just saying 'sorry we couldn't go to your birthday, but I think I told you we were out of town for my DH's birthday and then I had surgery where I couldn't leave the house'. I hope I made them feel a little bad for them being rude and constantly complaining we aren't seeing them. Both sets of these other friends are not friends we ever hang out with as a couple. I usually go to lunch with them (the guys) in a group of ex-coworkers. In fact,I went to lunch for this guy's birthday the Friday before my surgery. (but we missed his surprise bday party since my DH and I went to a hotel one night before my surgery -to celebrate my DH's birthday - in our same city). This guy thinks my DH is avoiding him, which I think is funny.
I hope all is well with the baby with all the stress. I know I shouldn't let things get to me. It's hard but I'm getting better.
I have crazy dreams which stress me out too. I am claustrophobic again on this pregnancy. I have dreams which put me in situations that get me panicked. I'm so funny in my dreams because I tell people 'i'm pregnant, why am I walking around.' Even in my dreams, I know I shouldn't be walking around - but I am. :) I can't really help having stressful dreams.

Friday, August 8, 2008

OBGYN appt

Dr. didn't want to do u/s, and I didn't push the issue for cervical length measurement. I really wanted an u/s, but decided I would be ok without one.

I told him I am still leaking fluid (probably urine)- have been since 4 weeks pregnant though. He thinks I am fine and didn't want to do a test for amniotic fluid. He prefers not to put anything in the vagina and I agree with him. I would have prefered an u/s to see that all the fluid levels were ok. My dr. is very compassionate and just said he understands that I have an 'anniversary' this week - that I may have anxiety. He then said 'don't spend your time worrying as there is nothing you can do. Worry will not help, so you might as well spend your time thinking positive thoughts'. I told him that works keeps my mind off things, so I don't think I am constantly worrying.

My DH thinks I have gained 10lbs. Well, he went with me to the obgyn today and they said I have gained 1 POUND. I just told my husband 'see I told you!' in front of my dr. The dr. just said 'that can't be right'. He didn't sound concerned, though.

I think I might have gained 2 lbs only (but I weight more in the evening after a lot of bloat). I'm about as bloated as I was at 4 weeks pregnant with IVF #1. DH thinks I might have lost muscle mass just resting a lot.

We got to eat out before the dr. appt. We were kinda rushed, but it was enjoyable. I was scared to be out and eating since I've only been at home. I was having some bh contractions - not sure because I went down the stairs or I was out and about going to the dr. (or just because I was scared to be walking around). Those stopped when I was at the drs office. DH dropped me off at the front of the drs. office, so I didn't have to walk too much.

Dr. measured h/b on the doppler and it was 157. He said 'you can hear the baby kicking'. Of course, I can't feel him yet.

Well, DH asked my obgyn some of the same questions he asked the peri. My obgyn is much more conservative. After hearing his responses, my DH is much more comfortable with how I am dealing with this pregnancy. (resting a lot). My obgyn said if I sit still and don't move for hours in the same position like being on an airplance- yeah I can get a bloodclot, but getting up to go the bathroom quite a bit keeps me OK. DH was happy to hear that since my peri was so vocal about me not resting at all. I'm glad my DH finally sees what I am doing is good. He left it in my hands previously, but I think in the back of his mind he was scared I was hurting myself. My obgyn said 'of course they told you no sex' and I said 'remember I told you peri says sex is ok, so they didn't tell me NOT TO'- But I said 'you know we aren't doing anything - nothing in the there at all.'

My blood pressure is great - something I worry about with all the salty foods I eat and not being active. I have low blood pressure normally.

Have a great weekend! I may be updating only once a week for awhile.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Guess Who Is Coming to Dinner?

One of my favorite movies is being shown for free near my city -in an outdoor event. It would be fun to go, but I'm glad I'm doing everything possible to keep this baby baking. I did happen to see part of this movie on tv yesterday. It's such a great movie - I love Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy.

We told 2 close friends over the weekend about the pregnancy. One was not surprised as she is the one who had pretty much guessed for awhile.

My mom asked me how far along I was today (she keeps forgetting) and I told her 'almost 16 weeks' and she said 'i need to know in months'. I know that is how things were done when she was pregnant, but that's not how most people do it today. My mom had 4 kids, but doesn't remember giving birth - it amazes me.

It will be a hard week this week, since this is the point in the pregnancy where everything went wrong last time. I'm very hopeful that the cerclage is going to work though. Have a great week everyone!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Premature statistic

Last week I posted this link on the IC forum to see what people thought.

Male fetuses are more likely to be born prematurely and have a higher rate of fetal death than female fetuses (a difference of 2.8–9.8%).

I think if you have incompetent cervix, it doesn't matter if you have a boy or a girl - it is still going to not hold up (without help). I think these are general statistics, not specific to IC.

I was scared to find out that I was having a boy as I know girls do much better if they are born premature. But I'm happy that I'm blessed to be pregnant and we are happy with just a healthy baby - no matter the sex.

On another subject, people asked why I still see my peri. I think he is the best in my city for the cerclage surgery. I think he is pretty good in general, just very relaxed. He is the same for all his patients as I mentioned previously that my friend goes to him and he told her she would be fine after she lost one of her twins and was at risk of going into labor (before viability). She did more bedrest than he said and I think that was good for her as she is ok now. She called him 'flippant'. My peri does make sense in his advice. To be honest, most peris don't believe in bedrest. Part of the reason I don't trust him or other drs. like this is because they can't easily tell women 'you should be in bed resting' because then if the women did everything they could still sue them. I guess they could still sue them if they say 'go waterskiing'. :) I don't trust any dr. 100%. If I went to a new peri, it would probably be the same - he would say not to do bedrest. Even though my friend thinks he is too lenient, she still sees him too. You have to listen to your drs., but you also have to listen to your body.
I'm annoyed half the time with my RE as he is late constantly, he answers his cell phone while doing u/s on me, and he doesn't pay attention all the time. He is late for no good reason too. At least my obgyn is late because he is delivering babies, but my RE is late because he was 'on the phone' or 'at lunch'. But I think he is the BEST in my state at what he does! I would rather have a great doctor than one who just has the best bedside manner.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!!