Saturday, August 16, 2008

Sorry I have to vent

Although I told my sister (well one of them) not to tell anyone - she has told all her friends. I figured she would, she doens't respect people's right to tell news on their own timeframe. Oh well, I can't control it. My mom is visiting her and told me that everyone seems to know. My sisters friends are like sisters to her, so she thinks it is fine to tell them. I told her today it was a boy and I'm sure she will tell her friends.
My DH said I might as well tell my friends - as only a few of my friends now. And I haven't told my coworkers either...
I haven't been sleeping well, but it is hard to sleep downstairs on the couch which isn't very comfortable. Our couch is leather, but not too comfortable to sleep on. I usually wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. This happened on Friday morning and I told my DH in the morning that I couldn't stop thinking about work issues and that if I didn't call in sick for part of the day - I would go insane. I think I was having BH contractions because of the stress.
So Friday, I worked from 8am - 11am and then said I was 'sick'. I think it will help my coworkers if they know I'm pregnant because they will hassle me less to do things that others should be doing. I felt so good after not thinking about work the rest of the day. I slept. I told them I would work part of this weekend, but I hope I don't.
I really don't want the stress to get to me and especially the baby, but I am a workaholic and it is hard for me to not think about work issues. It's hard for me to turn this off. DH can do that easily, but I always want to do a good job.
One of our friends came over on Friday. They brought us dinner and spent time watching the olympics with us. I like having visitors, but they can get loud. Loud noises usually affect the baby (like our dogs barking). I was pretty ok with it though and glad to see my friends. My friend's DH touched my belly for a good amount of time. It's funny because he doesn't want kids, but seems excited for us. It was the first time someone touched my belly - besides my DH.
I told DH that I feel like I'm not gaining weight. I'm not too hungry to eat. I told him I think I lost weight - gaining it in my belly area, but losing it on my legs. He agreed that I lost weight in other places. Bedrest doesn't increase my appetite, but I'm forcing myself to eat more. I ate a big burger today, but didn't finish it. But I think the milkshake I ate will help... :)
Our friends had a party last week and some other friends (not close friends) had a party the week before and we missed both. So, apparently the friends that know kept their mouth shut, but told me that our other friends are bitching that we hate them. I don't really want to tell those other friends since they aren't that close and they are being jerks about things. Little things like that bother me too. I emailed both guys (since I'm friends more with the guys - former coworkers) and said something kinda rude implying my friend told me what they said about us. I said 'I promise we aren't avoiding you'...
One of the guys I wrote the above in a nice way, but he wrote back saying 'well it just seems like you guys are avoiding us at every party'. So that is when I wrote something not exactly rude but just saying 'sorry we couldn't go to your birthday, but I think I told you we were out of town for my DH's birthday and then I had surgery where I couldn't leave the house'. I hope I made them feel a little bad for them being rude and constantly complaining we aren't seeing them. Both sets of these other friends are not friends we ever hang out with as a couple. I usually go to lunch with them (the guys) in a group of ex-coworkers. In fact,I went to lunch for this guy's birthday the Friday before my surgery. (but we missed his surprise bday party since my DH and I went to a hotel one night before my surgery -to celebrate my DH's birthday - in our same city). This guy thinks my DH is avoiding him, which I think is funny.
I hope all is well with the baby with all the stress. I know I shouldn't let things get to me. It's hard but I'm getting better.
I have crazy dreams which stress me out too. I am claustrophobic again on this pregnancy. I have dreams which put me in situations that get me panicked. I'm so funny in my dreams because I tell people 'i'm pregnant, why am I walking around.' Even in my dreams, I know I shouldn't be walking around - but I am. :) I can't really help having stressful dreams.

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