Friday, October 31, 2008

28 weeks later!

Happy Halloween - I'm 28 weeks!!!!

I can't believe I have made it this far.

I love this movie and the first one -28 days later. I think I mentioned before I love zombie movies. DH won't let me watch scary movies while pg (although I have some of this week). I've had so many zombie or vampire nightmares (more in early pregnancy) that DH doesn't think its healthy for the baby. I think the baby likes to be entertained at night. My dreams are crazy and sometimes I wake up and I think 'i am bored with that dream, but maybe the baby was entertained'. :)

Even with all the scary movies I've seen this week -especially on AMC -this week I've had election night -nighmares! I'll be glad when this election is over and I hope it isn't as close as I think it will be. I really don't want a repeat of 2000 where it comes down to a few votes. I hope there are no voting related issues.

On another note, why is it only republicans send stupid chain emails? I get these from relatives and friends from the dark side (just kidding). I don't get emails from democrats. My FIL believes all these emails he gets. I just hate chain mails in general but ones with lies are just intolerable.

Another 28 made the news this week - the P.hillies hadn't won the world series in 28 years! I was going for T.ampa Bay, but it is cool that the P.hillies won. I don't really watch b.aseball.

I go to the dr. twice next week (peri and obgyn), so I hope all is well with the baby and I'll have some updates on those appts.

How fair is it that I have my GD test on Monday? I won't be able to eat a lot of halloween candy. Boo...

Don't forget to change your clocks back on Saturday!

4- 24 weeks (continued)

Ok, blame pregnancy brain but I probably forgot some of this.
*Again disclaimer : this is what I did, but it may not work for you. You have to listen to your body*

How often I stayed down: I worked on my computer for work while lying down sideways - this kinda hurts my back but it worked for me. I didn't like lifting my computer to put on my lap - even with my laptop desk. I would ask DH to put my laptop on the couch daily so I didn't have to lift it. I would get up to go to the bathroom or to heat up a quick snack, but otherwise I would stay horizonal on one side. If I lied down, I would try to stay that way for 30 min as usually I had to go to the bathroom around that time (then I would change positions - lie on other side). Sometimes I have to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes, so it's a lot of getting up. I'm not sure if I lied down more than I should for modified bedrest, but I probably was leaning more towards strict bedrest.

Sneezing: Did I mention this last time? I tried to sneeze lying down as sneezing and coughing puts pressure on the cervix.

My drs: My peri said don't do bedrest and my obgyn said do very little but don't do bedrest. I think I might have mentioned this on the other post, not sure. Both drs never agreed on how conservative to be. My peri is not conservative.

Doppler: I wish I had one sometimes. I didn't want to get one because when my water broke last time, my baby's heart was still beating. Before I started getting regular kicks, I think having a doppler would have put my mind at ease. Even after getting regular kicks, there were times when I didn't have kicks and I worried.

Pelvic pain: I forgot to mention that I had pelvic pain around 20 - 23 weeks. My dr had no idea what it was. The nurse at my peri's office said that sometimes when things get loose down there you hear a lot of popping. It may be my age, but what she described is what I get - popping sound when I get up plus pain really low. She said it was like a turkey bone stretching out and popping. Mine was not sciatic pain, it was more pain related to this. What I did to fix this?: I slept with a pillow between my legs and still do. I find this pain is much better but I had some tough days where it hurt to walk between 21 and 23 weeks. It could have been the baby pushing down too, as I was told a week later that the baby was head down. But my cervical length was fine during this time, it is just that I felt the baby more down in my pelvis. Here's a link to kinda what I was feeling.
I'm not sure this is the best website, but what I had was a pelvic pain and not sciatic.

Next wed or thurs. I'll have my 24-28 week update on what I did. Thanks for reading my blog, if you do. :)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Praise my husband day!

My DH gets frustrated a lot since he has to do everything around the house, but I know he will do whatever he has to. We do get frustrated with each other.
I think he understands that bedrest is hard for me and I'm just not being lazy all day. I do work full time - but I have been flaking at work lately. :)
I do the bare minimum and try not to get frustrated with incompetent coworkers mainly c.onsultants that I work with. I'm very much a workaholic so it is hard for me not to get stressed over stuff not getting done - whether that's around the house or at work. I'm just a control freak probably. I have to let it go and not let myself get stressed with anything. That isn't to say I'm a neat freak and/or my house is spotless because it's not. I just want it cleaner than it is, but DH does a pretty good job.
DH told me that if I get laid off (which could happen at my job as there are some cutbacks), that it would be ok and I could take a few months off with the baby. I was told I would be ok - at least for the mean time at work. So it may be a blessing in disguise if I am laid off. DH was sweet yesterday when he said 'don't worry if you get laid off - don't let it upset you'. I like working and will eventually go back to work if that happened. Financially, we would be ok - we have little bills and my DH can support both of us.
Today he called to say he got the Mind you, he has never gotten it - or he may have but not in the past five years. Every year he gets sick, but I'm not sure it is the flu. I think he gets a sinus infection. I told him that was sweet that he got it to protect me and the baby. I'm not getting one as I don't trust them but that is another post. I got my flu shot last year the day I went into labor -not sure it helped if I had an existing infection (although we all know that the shot doesn't cause the flu). :) I'm going to pass this year because 1)every year I get the shot I get sick. - not necessarily the flu. Last year I got sick, but not sure if it was the shot, the loss of the baby or something else. It wasn't the flu. 2) not sure I ever had the flu 3) I'm on house arrest so I'm not exposed to too many germs right now.

On another subject:
It is still hard for me to believe that there will be a baby in 13 weeks or less. (10 weeks from today I get my cerclage out) I'm not prepared at all for the baby. Nothing - nursery, baby seat, etc. My sister gave me some clothes though. I wonder when I can be happy and finally thinking that everything will work out - maybe when the baby is in my arms.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Can I blame Joe six pack?

Ok, so we live in a free country and you can vote for whomever you want. That's the beauty of the US and everyone has an opinion.
But I think that if we vote for McCain that we will have more years of the same. I don't believe is giving big business tax breaks and those who look after their interests.
McCain acts as if he is interested in funding for special needs kids (like Sarah's down syndrome baby). I've never heard of republicans backing this type of funding, so I doubt it would happen. I do agree McCain is not Bush and things could be better. He is a good guy personally, but I don't think he is what our country needs.
My DH says Obama is the better choice in the eyes of Europe and the rest of the world. Let me just say that my DH normally never votes but we agree on politics. The world laughs at our picks and I've read something how they were excited that we had picked a female VP. They don't understand why we haven't elected a woman before. But once they got to know her and know she only got a passport in 2006, they were not impressed. Do we want her to be within a heartbeat of presidency? I'm all for women in office and strong women who can work and have kids, but she is not the right pick.
As most know who read my blog, that I was going for Hillary and Obama took time to grow on me. But I think he is the right choice. I hope that after the recent debates, people at least are not undecided anymore.
Can I blame joe the plumber and joe six pack if we get 4 more years of the same? We know who joe the plumber is voting for. I mean this happens every 4 years and then people regret their decision when the country is in a hole. McCain is pretty old and he makes faces (rolls his eyes) quite a bit. I find that immature and that comes out on the debates. From someone who is sarcastic and rolls her eyes a lot, it isn't the right thing to do in interviews, debates or when running for president. Ok, enough political blogging, this site is not for that purpose.
My birthday falls around e.lection day and I'm not using my b.irthday w.ish on the election. I did that before and it didn't turn out well - remember 2000. That's a great story that I won't post on this blog.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Under 100 days!

I have 99 days left. I still have good days and bad days.

A girl on a forum I frequent lost her daughter at 21weeks+ and she had a cerclage. I feel so bad for her and I'm not sure it ever helps my confidence to read bad news while pregnant. It's so unfair. My heart goes out to her and her family. This is her 2nd loss.

I hope I can do early voting - if the lines aren't long as I don't want to stand. There is no way that I can do regular voting as the lines in my district are long. I was going to try to do absentee voting, but it made it complicated to apply for that. I had to mail or fax something in -which I really can't do. Of course, I can ask my DH to do this but he does SO MUCH already - I hate asking him for extra stuff. He does the grocery shopping, feeding our two dogs, dishes, cleaning, laundry, drives me for showers and to the dr.

Have a good week everyone!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Milestones this week...

Yesterday, was 12 weeks since my cerclage placement. That means 12 weeks of modified bed rest. Wow...

Today is 12 weeks until my cerclage is removed-dec. 31st. I pray I can hold out the remaining 12 weeks. That seems like a long time, but I won't be on modified bedrest the remaining 12 weeks (hopefully).

I'm taking two types of antibiotics and so far so good. I feel that me and the baby will be ok. I kept googling today and found out that some people are prone to getting UTIs - people with s.ickle cell t.rait. I haven't been tested but I'm pretty sure I have that as my sisters do. I always tell my drs and they never think having this trait causes anything.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Why can't things ever go smoothly?

On Friday, the baby was kicking a lot and I'm not sure if I was feeling pain. Saturday, I had it a little bit of pain but didn't know if it was pain or just the baby's hard kicks. Sunday I had cramping at night, but didn't want to go to L&D as I know they will do a manual check and I really don't trust the oncall drs to not do that - as they don't understand I'm high risk and I have a cerclage.

So, I made an appt on Monday with my obygn. I couldn't see him though, just a nurse practioner.

I left a urine sample and I told DH that my urine was cloudy and I thought I might have an infection. They found blood and white blood cells in my urine so wanted to do a pelvic exam. I was so scared as my obgyn usually doesn't even want to do these while I'm pregnant. They told me since I was having cramping they should definitely check. I finally felt OK to let her check because I really hate seeing nurse practioners (nothing against them - i know there are good ones out there but I've had bad experiences in the past). She found some discharge (white) in my vagina and tested it for bacterial vaginosis (BV). It was positive for that. I wasn't having any discharge or bleeding. She also said I have a UTI. I got antibiotics for both. I didn't have burning or itching - only symptom was cramping on sunday night - no cramping yesterday. I've read that BV doesn't sometimes have symptoms. They told me that people who have sex may know that they have this sooner than those of us that don't have sex.

Please spare a prayer or thought (for the non-religious) for me and my baby. I hope (and think) we will be OK, but it is scary. Many pregnant ladies get UTI and/or BV, but they are not high risk like me. I got an infection that caused my water to break last time (baby had an infection of the amniotic fluid). The only saving grace that I have now is that I have a cerclage which is keeping my cervix closed very tightly. I've read that having BV can increase the chance for preterm labor and/or rupture of membranes and/or preterm delivery (before 37 wks). That is the part that scares me.

Some positive things I have found on the internet: (I need to stop googling though)
*If found early, BVs are not a major issue if treated while pregnant.
*My cervix was closed, so that is a good thing.
*Many women get this while pregnant. 10-30% I think I read.
*I asked the women on my board yesterday and one had it in the 2nd trimester while pregnant. That does provide me some comfort that some have this and then go on to deliver a baby.
*I've read that it is more common with cerclages. It sometimes happen when people have sex which I AM NOT. They told me at the drs office that people with cerclages are more prone to this as the cerclage keeps things moist down there.
*I'm glad that they found it (as I didn't want her to give me a pelvic exam). By the way, she didn't check manually which was great.
*I'm glad I listened to my body and went in.

Dr's office don't seem concerned. They aren't seeing me until another 4 weeks. Peri's office (nurse) called to check up on me after I let them know I was going in to see my obgyn. They said I could go in there next time maybe - but my peri was out yesterday. They also weren't too concerned.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

4 -24wks - what I did

****Disclaimer***** This is what I did to get to 24 weeks. It may not work for you. Everyone is different and they have to do what they feel comfortable with (and listen to their body). This is mainly for me to document on what I did to get to 24weeks with an incompetent cervix and a cerclage.
When I first found out that I was pregnant, my RE said no acupuncture and no travel - not even to a city 1 hr from where I live -before first u/s. I had to make a decision to take some heat and miss a planned vacation and an important family event. My DH has been very supportive. I couldn't have made it this long without his help.

My mom told me to be selfish and to do what was right for me and baby, so I decided modified bed rest with no travel at all even after first u/s. This upset my friends and family as they didn't know I was pregnant at the time. I had to throw a party for my boss at work, but decided to leave early as it was smokey. I was about 5 wks. I had to make excuses not to go to lunch everyday - more on that later...

4-12 weeks - I went up stairs only once a day (once down and once up). I had to make an exception right before my cerclage as I had to get some bloodwork and my paperwork was upstairs. I went up sideways even starting at 4wks. I came down slowly but the regular way.
I went up the day after my cerclage at 12w5d. I had some bh contx I believe from going upstairs. I stayed up there for 2 weeks until my follow up appt at 14w4d. DH brought me food and I had a microwave upstairs to heat up food. He just left me food daily in a cooler.
I went up after my checkup at 14w5d or 14w6d and stayed upstairs until 16 week appt with my obgyn.
I had to do stairs at my peri's off at my 14w4d checkup - one flight - but a lot of stairs. In hindsight, I should have cancelled my appt or just waited as they fixed the elevator shortly after my appt. I had bh contx that I didn't recognize while having my checkup that they could see on my u/s.
Lots of people do stairs with no problems, but I think people should minimize stairs.
I do plan to do stairs more at around 27/28 weeks. (if I feel up to it and don't get bh contx).

I did go out to each lunch with people, but there were a lot of variables which you can never control. Long lines, driving with others who don't drive well, etc...
I tried to minimize going out to lunch with coworkers to maybe twice a week. I stopped completely at 12w.

**Cervix and how it behaved**
I had to listen to my body and know what was normal for me. I had vaginal discharge daily - usually after BM. Then I started having some if I did too much - standing too long. A few days before my surgery, I went to a hotel with my DH (in my same city). I started feeling weird down there, so I tried to lay down as much as possible, but we did go out to breakfast and to dinner. On the day of my surgery - 2 days later - my cervix was opening from the bottom. It could have been what I felt, although drs say you can't really feel your cervix dialating.

**Grocery shopping**
I stopped going with DH around 8 weeks and made him go by himself (probably for the rest of the pregnancy). I make him a list and he is pretty good about getting stuff that I can eat. When I did go before 8 weeks, I didn't lift anything. I also tried to walk slowly. I had some discharge one time which is why I stopped going.

Tan discharge after BM almost daily. I started taking colace daily mainly after my cerclage to keep me regular. I think it helped, but every BM was scary for me (and still is). I still had days where the colace didn't do the job, but I didn't take as much as others do. I hate taking stuff while pregnant.
After my cerclage, I had a different type of discharge and that was my new norm. I had it usually after BM. I also had it when going to get a shower and eating out. I also had it usually more about once a week.

**Exercise or even walking - from a former runner***
NONE. Minimized even walking from the beginning. Not even to my mailbox or around my neighboorhood with my dogs. I might have gone for a quick walk once, but stopped it pretty early.

**Leaking fluid**
I had leaking fluid from day 1 on this pregnancy. I had it on my last pregnancy too, but my RE had explained to me that it was excess estrogen (since I was taking estradiol during my IVF pregnancy). All 3 of my drs. could never explain why I had this - this time. DH asked RE if it could be amniotic fluid (since that happened w/us last time) and RE said if it was there would be none around the baby (that early) and baby wouldn't be there. It was my norm, but scary. I had time that I didn't know if it was amniotic fluid. One time (16 wks) I was dying to check at the obgyn's office, but he told me to wait it out as he didn't want to put anything in my vagina. I agreed with that approach. I waited for my big u/s at 18w4d and they told me my fluid was just fine. I then knew it was probably just urine and my normal. I had to wear liners everyday so far this entire pregnancy. I'm not a dr. but the only thing I can think of is more soy in my diet. I was eating a ton of cheezits and they have soy in them - so does all processed foods like junkfood and chips- check your labels. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, but I think I was getting a lot in my diet. I also eat vegetarian a lot and I could be eating things that had soy or tofu in it. Again, I'm not a dr. and my drs. have never told me this. This is just something that I have thought. I had more leaking when sitting upright - like going out to eat, etc. I have tried limiting my soy and I seem to have it less.

**Eating out**
I minimized eating out after 14w4d, but did go out to eat when we went to the obgyn or peri. I also went sometimes with DH when I went for a shower. I had to leave my house for a shower since I don't have one downstairs. I WAS SO NERVOUS going out to eat - scared if I broke my water in a restaurant. It was just hard to enjoy going out to eat - something my DH and I do a lot normally. I stopped going out to eat - even the only once a wk that I went - at around 19 weeks. I had more discharge when sitting up. I'll try to eat out more now - but probably starting at 27 wks or so (even then just once a week). I will only continue to go if I feel up to it and not scared and not enjoying the experience.

None. Peri said I could. Obgyn said not to. We didn't once we found out we were pregnant. In fact, during first trimester and early 2nd trimester, I had some orga$ms in my sleep and they gave me bh contx and one time caused a bleeding episode (although I'm not 100% sure that is what caused it). I tried to watching boring stuff and still do - nothing with sex in it.

Lying on the couch for most of the day except for bathroom breaks and to heat up something quick. Unfortunately, I ate a lot of frozen dinners which have soy and not great ingredients. I tried to eat mainly organic, but I did eat a lot of frozen dinners that were not organic.
My drs said to NOT do bedrest and that I was normal. Unfortunately, I don't trust drs. so I did what was right me. Male drs. don't understand what we went through with our loss last time. I'm not sure even female drs would get it - only those who have been through a loss understand. I'm not sure they can ever understand how scared we are. Women blame themselves even if it isn't their fault (I did too much, what if I didn't do this, etc). Drs HATE recommending bedrest. In fact, my peri said I could get a blood clot and die. I still could, but I hope I don't. I do lie down more than I probably should.

**After placement**
I had cramping the night of my cerclage. I opted not to take pain meds. I did take a week of antibiotics. I had diarrhea the next day with some gushing, but they told me it was normal. I had red/pink bleeding right afterwards and for days some pink spotting. I had spotting for probably a week or more after the cerclage. It felt like I had a tampon for a few weeks after placement.
I had movement pretty low around 16-20 weeks. Dr. said that was normal.

I worked a normal schedule until 12 weeks. A few days before 12 weeks, I asked my manager if I could work from home. She agreed. I am still working from home, but I did take a week vacation (not that I went anywhere - just didn't think about work). I took a week off on my 20th week. I have a stressful job, but it is a desk job that I can do reclined. I'm thankful I was able to work from home. I've done it before with my current job, so they knew I was pretty good at working from home.

After cerclage, I tried to take a shower every other day. DH said 'why can't you take one daily'. I said because I think I need to minimize showers. I did take quick showers - from a person who normally took long showers.
Since 16wks, I've been downstairs and leaving my house to go take a shower about every 4 days. I go to work which has a shower that has a seat - although I just started using the seat over the last 3 wks. Since I only take a shower every 4 days, I take about a 7-10 min shower. I plan to increase my showers once I go upstairs - maybe every 2 days....

Lean on them as much as you can. We had people who brought over food for us. My mom cooked a few meals for me. Without help, it would have even been harder...NO ONE understands what you mean when you say 'i'm on bedrest' until they visit you (and in my case - seeing where I sleep). I had people who said 'can't you meet up for lunch' or family who wanted me to visit them. I'm like 'i'm on bedrest I don't leave my house and I don't drive'. They never seemed to get it. Even after some people visited, they still didn't get it, but it did help when they came over to see 'our world'.

I'm not sure I could do this again. Of course, I'm just concentrating on this baby, but I still think could I do this again. I probably could if I had a house that had a bedroom downstairs. We do plan to move in the next few years, but I'm not sure if that will help. I can't even imagine doing what I did with a small baby or a toddler. I don't have the advantage of waiting 5 years before having another baby (I'm almost 36). I really don't ever want to do IVF again. I could change my mind, but I really don't think I would.
I made a countdown of days -one until viability, one until 28 weeks, etc (short goals). After 28 weeks, I will have one until 32, etc. I also made a calendar and crossed out the entire month when it was over. I visualized me crossing out each month every few days.
I also have a countdown of weeks.
I have some mantras I have written down that help me when I am down (cerclage is strong, cerclage will hold, my cervical length is long, my baby grows strong each day, it's in God's hands, don't worry about what others think).

I won't lie - the cerclage and bedrest are the hardest things I have had to do in my life. It will be worth it, but it isn't easy. The last 20 days before viability were extremely difficult. I had good days and bad days. The next month will be hard too as I try to keep doing what I have been doing.

I'm sure I will have forgotten something, so I'll try to add posts related to the heading on this one.

Friday, October 3, 2008

24 weeks - Viability!

24 weeks - Viability!

I'm not a race car fan, but I thought it was cool this came out yesterday on the Today show. 24!!!

I'm so scared to have the baby between now and 28 weeks. Baby needs to stay in until at least my stitch comes out - December 31st.

Thank God for keeping this baby inside me! When I first got pregnant I prayed the rosary and it provided some comfort to me. (54 day novena)

My mom says that I'm like a chicken sitting on her eggs. This pregnancy has been hard, but it will be worth it once the baby is here safely.

Next post (sorry I lied last time) will have what I did that helped me get to 24 weeks. I hope to post this later today.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

23w5d peri appt

So far so good...
Cervix was measuring at 3.3cm I believe. No funneling. That seems longer than last time, but I'm not sure the sonographer is the best at measuring. She kinda rushes everything. I had a different one today than I normally do. I don't trust her measurement to be honest.
She couldn't get good pics of the baby - DH said her pics suck compared to other sonographer.
H/B was 169 - had to ask my peri as she didn't even tell me that.
When she measured the baby's head I saw it said 25w, but she told me 'you are 23 wks pg'. I said 'I hope more than that' and she was kinda rude saying 'well I never say the days because it freaks people out'. Uhhh, I think it freaks people out if you only say the weeks, but it could be me.
Another nurse came in before my peri as he was running late. It was the nurse I hadn't seen at all during this pregnancy who I had last time when we had the loss. I don't care for her much. She just answered some questions and asked if we wanted to wait for peri as he was running late.
We waited for peri although it was kinda a long wait - I almost wanted to go home.
He came in and told us that the baby was measuring 23w6d and everything looked good.
He said 2 appts and then on my 3rd appt the stitch comes out. I think they kind messed up on my appts for the rest of the year. They said my stitch comes out on Dec. 31st, but it should come out at 36 weeks, and that is 36w5d, but maybe they just don't care as long as it is in the week of 36. I was arguing with them because originally they scheduled it at 38 weeks. I'll ask them on my next visit if 36w5d is correct. I just don't want to go into labor with the stitch in, but most girls on the IC boards get it taken out at 37 wks.
They told me to call with any spotting as that usually means cervical change.
I pray I don't have any at all. I'm going to take it easy for the next few weeks and then try to do a little more.
My next post will say what I did from 4wks to 24 wks. It is mainly for me to document how I got to 24 wks.
Happy October!!!!!