Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Post-op checkup

Today was my post-op checkup. A week ago or so, I decided I would only go downstairs to go to the doctor. I would have to go to the doctor about 5 times before viability (to peri and obgyn).
Yesterday, in reading responses from some people on the incompetent cervix forum, I decided I would not do stairs until viability. I would spend my time downstairs and go take a shower once a week at my father in laws. So I decided 'no stairs until viability'.
Well today I go to the doctor and their elevator is broken...what bad luck. It's only on the 2nd floor, but we debated what we should do. Had we gotten there 30 minutes later, I think the elevator was working by then. I decided to go up the stairs backwards to make my appt. It was quite a few amount of stairs. The elevator was fixed by the time we left.
I tell the nurse my symptoms since the cerclage. She writes a few stuff down, not everything. Then an u/s tech comes in and asks my DH and I if we would like to know the sex of the baby. We said 'yes'. Well, she is looking at the cervical length and measured it at 2.3cm. That got me very concerned. She then said the baby is a 'boy'. DH was shocked as he thought it was a girl. She even took a picture for us of the boy parts. :) Baby's heartrate was 158 bpm, I believe. She told me I was having braxton hicks contractions at the time of the u/s and some uterine contractions. That concerns me too, but my peri said it is fine.
Well, she doesn't measure the baby and she said the peri will come in later. We wait for him and I just keep telling DH that 2.3 is NOT GOOD especially w/a cerclage. I had 2.5mm around this time last time, but did not have a cerclage. I was so scared, but trying to remain calm. I was thinking maybe my length was shorter due to the stairs or maybe the contractions. I made sure my bladder was empty, so the cervical length was accurate. My peri's office only does abdominal scan - unless they can't get a good reading. I've read online that transvaginal scans are much better for measuring cervical length. Also girls on the forums say this too...
Peri comes in and asks how things are going. I just said 'i'm worried about my length'. He went on the u/s machine and measured my cervix. He measured it at 3.6 or 3.7 cm - much better. He measured it twice. He said my cervix has a kink in it, so maybe she didn't measure it correctly. He showed me where the stitch is.
I ask him 'when am I out of the danger zone for infection?'. He says '11 days ago'. He has all the *right* answers, it is so hard to trust him, but I have no choice.
DH and I asked about the day of the surgery when he said my cervix was open already. He said it was open from the bottom (external os), not the internal os (top) as it was last time. He said it is worse when the top is opening.
I'm trying to write this down here for myself mainly so I can remember what we asked him.
I told him I am taking it easy for the next 10 weeks. He said he does not recommend bed rest in fact he said this 'you could get a blood clot in the leg that goes to your heart and your baby will not have a mommy'. Gee, thanks.
He said 'you can do anything now' except waterskiing and skiing and trampolines. His lecture convinced my DH that I can do almost anything, but my DH says he trusts me to do what I think and feel comfortable with.
I'm also not going to take a shower daily as other girls online don't do that either.
I want to believe my peri - he said bedrest doesn't help. I told him 'well, my cervix opened last time at 13 weeks and I had been walking 5K races and doing a lot and this time it opened anyway at 12 weeks 4 days and I was doing as little as possible in the first tri'. He said he agreed. He is so confident about the cerclage. He said 'you are fine - now that you have the cerclage you are good! you can do anything! you will have a screaming baby next year'. I said 'thanks to you'. Nothing seemed to concern him, but like I have stated previously - he thinks everyone is going to be ok.
DH asked about preterm labor and he said i'm no more at risk for getting that than any *normal* person - 1 in 8. A lot of girls online do p17 (progesterone) shots for calming the uterus. My peri doesn't believe in these, so I'm not on those.

Peri said that cervical length doesn't matter anyway. If any girls from the IC forum are reading this, they will scream! He says 'even if it was 2.3cm, it doesn't mean anything'. He said the most important thing is that the cervix is closed. He said length doesn't matter-as long as I have the cerclage. He said length isn't accurate before a certain time anyway. From what I read cervical length does go up and down, but bedrest seems to help a lot of people. From what I read, cervical length seems to go down the bigger the baby gets. This makes me nervous - if it really was 2.3cm.

I may do the stairs tomorrow and stay upstairs for another week before my next appt. I'm not going to be on bedrest for the next 10 weeks, but I'm remaining at home as much as possible. My friend had a transabdominal cerclage and she was on bedrest for 5 months. (and those hold up a lot better than the transvaginal cerclage). She suggested I only do stairs to see the dr. She said she didn't do stairs at all.

I told my mom about the sex of the baby. She is happy for us. I figured if something happened, I would rather my immediate family know the sex. I never wanted to be the person to find out, but I'm glad I found out this way. My DH wanted to know.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Found some info on grandfather

Last night I was looking for information on my grandfather, since I am bored and spend a lot of time on the computer these days. I found his death certificate, which lists his parents names. I called my mom immediately to tell her. She knew his mom's name first name, but not maiden name. She knew her dad's last name, but not his first name.

And then I found a contact who volunteers with the US Gen Web project. I emailed her some information last night and she found quite a bit of information for me today. Yea!!

My grandfather was raised by his grandparents not his parents- which is why he had a different last name. His mom had another son and named him the same name - with the right last name. Geez! Why do people have to really mess up things by having 2 sons w/the same name? Of course, on both brother's death certificates, they misspell their parents name which makes it harder to track things.

I think I am done searching for awhile and will let my mom have a go at it with the information that I gave her. :)

It is interesting that my grandmother had a stillborn baby boy. I'm not sure my mom told me that before (or she even knew). I knew they had a baby girl that died at 2 years old from pneumonia. That was in the records too.

The other day, I was searching on my dad's side, while looking for my mom's family. My dad's side is more established with names spelled the right way, etc. A relative does genealogy for my dad's side, so there is a lot of information that she has found. I found a relative (distant, but maybe an ancestor), who had lost so many babies at birth. I wonder why she lost so many? Could she have had IC like me? It made me sad, but also made me think that she must have been strong to keep going as she did. She did survive. She lost: 1 baby at birth, 4 babies less than 8 days old, 1 baby at 2 years old. It was the early 1900s and she lived in a desolate location. (far from hospitals)

Even when doing something not baby related - it all comes back to stillbirth and pregnancy loss. The women I have met online who have been through loss of life are the strongest women I know.

Thanks Niobe-http://deadbabyjokes.blogspot.com/- for letting me know other sources on where to find relatives - that really helped in my search!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

No dice on finding my grandfather

I still haven't found my grandfather. It is hard since he was born in a small town in 1900. I have a feeling he had a different name or they mispelled it. (and they weren't good with records at that time).
I've called the state library twice with two different names. My mom was going to try a new name today.
I hope we can find him. It is so sad my mom doesn't know her real last name - her parents died when she was so young. :(
I appreciate that I have a father.

I'm feeling pretty good today. Yesterday I had some cramping, but it stopped. I'm talking to many girls who just had a cerclage too and they have about the same symptoms that I do. Some have worse symptoms and had their cerclage the week before me, but it also depends on the type of cerclage you get.

My breasts started hurting last night pretty badly. I called my peri's office today and they said 'it is normal'. I haven't had sore breasts the entire 1st trimester.

I hope everyone is having a great week.

Monday, July 21, 2008

In search of my grandfather...

My grandfather would have been 108 this year. He died very early - in his 50s. My mom was very young when he died.

She wants to get his birth certificate, so I'm trying to help her. She never knew if he was adopted by a relative or not, so it may be a challenge in finding his birth certificate. (especially since it is from 1900).

Saturday I received a care package from one of my friends. It was so nice of her.

I've been feeling pretty good, but taking it very, very easy. I only get up twice a daily to spend less than 30 minutes on my main computer. I work from home - on my computer- in bed. I only get up to get a quick lunch and to go to the bathroom.
I have one more week until my follow up appt. I hope the stitch is holding and the baby is doing well.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Do you believe in angels?

On the way to the surgery floor while on the elevator, a man started talking to my DH and asked him if he liked to read books. My DH was holding a big book in his hands -an IT technical book.
Well, he gave my DH a device to hold the book open, so you can just use one hand to hold the book. It was nice of him. He was first just showing my DH, and then gave it to him. As soon as he gave it to him, he got off on his floor. DH and I just looked at each other and my DH is not religious, but I told him later that I think that guy was an angel - trying to give us a good sign that everything was going to be ok. My DH said 'well this device looks like an angel'. It was a weird experience and even my DH thought so. It is nice when people are kind to strangers like that. I believe angels can embody people. The day of our surgery is an important day to us. It is the birthday of 3 people very close to us. (including my grandfather who passed away last year).

I told my friend who lost one of her twins that I was pregnant via email. We aren't telling most of our friends for a few more weeks. She ended up calling me to talk. We have the same peri and she said she was advised to get the cerclage after her first twin was lost. It turned out she didn't need it - just bedrest- and now she is past viability. It was great to talk to her. She said when she lost the baby, our peri told her she still could do a lot. She said her obgyn is much more conservative than the peri. I told her I agree and my obgyn is the same way. I told her that I like our peri, but I think I'll be much more conservative with my pregnancy than he thinks I need to be. She agreed that our peri just thinks things will work out for people. We also both have the same RE. We have so much in common. We both went through infertility had to do IVF/ICSI because of sperm issues. She said she was jealous that I got pg on our own. She is happy for us though. Her DH sent out a email to a few of us this week about the loss of the twin. It must be so difficult to go through.

I've been feeling pretty good the past 2 days - no cramping and very little spotting. I am praying everything is ok with the baby. I debated if I should move in with my FIL because he has a one-story. He said that was ok, so I may do that if I need to (if my cervical length shrinks, etc).

Have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Baby on Lock Down - Cerclage Story

On the way to the surgery center - not a hospital, my DH was saying we may not need the cerclage but it is better to have it then to not.
Well, if there is any doubt that I have an incompetent cervix, there is doubt no more. My peri said (and this was after surgery, so I wasn't quite coherent) that my cervix was already opening from the top. He didn't sound worried about it. I'll have to talk to him about it at my follow up visit in 2 weeks. I read all the time that people think changes to the cervix can't happen before 13 weeks. They are wrong. Last time I was 13 weeks exactly when my cervix was funneling (baby was measuring ahead last time). This time I was gestionally 12 weeks 4 days - probably measuring ahead - probably 13 weeks and it was opening again. And I have done NOTHING but lay around most of the day - very miminal walking to go to the bathroom.

We got to the surgery center around 1030am for my 1230pm surgery. Not eating after midnight was killer especially with a baby in there who is hungry.
I got dressed. The anestiosiologist came to talk with me and told me the sedation that they use will not hurt the baby. My peri calls it general anethesia, but it is just heavy sedation through an IV. I think I was sedated 5-10 minutes or less than 5 minutes.

Peri came to talk to me before the surgery. I asked to see the u/s before I was put under. Peri said they do an u/s before and after. He said I would be out by the 2nd u/s. Baby's h/b was the same before and after the surgery. Baby was moving around before the surgery.

I think we started the surgery at 1230pm as my peri arrived later. DH says I was in the operating room a total of 5 minutes - he read 2 pages. He was reading a technical book - with huge pages. That 5 minutes I wasn't asleep as I got to see the u/s before I was put under.

Peri said the surgery was successful. I asked him quite a few questions as they don't have post-opp written instructions. I can't remember a lot of what I asked him, but DH was there to hear things. They gave me cranberry juice. I went to the bathroom before I left and I had some red streaks of discharge. They told me that was normal. We left the surgery center at 2ish. I was not hungry at all. Anethesia can do that to you. I also threw up on the car ride home. That happened last year as well during surgery I had where I had anethesia. Before surgery, they wanted to give me anti-nausea medicine, but I told them I wanted to minimize what the baby was exposed to.

I came home and was in pain most of the afternoon/evening. I didn't take my pain meds. I had abdominal cramping, which they told me was normal. I felt really out of it. I had cramping all night, which made it hard to sleep. I slept downstairs the first night. I came upstairs late yesterday.

I had spotting that day and the next day I had pink spotting and quite a bit stretchy/mucus pink discharge (sorry for TMI). I had some diarrhea which can happen with antibiotics. That is when I had the stretchy pink discharge. I called my peri's office and they said it was normal. Spotting can occur for weeks, but it is so scary especially when you are pregnant - even if you know it is coming. Today, very little spotting. Most of what I have had - is only when wiping - not bleeding onto the pad - except for right after surgery.

Thanks for the prayers! I appreciate them - keep them coming! I'm hoping this stitch will hold up until viability. My next milestone is to make it these 2 weeks and hope there is no infection. I am concerned w/infection if I got it when my cervix was opening.

So far so good....

Friday, July 11, 2008

Cerclage Scheduled!

My peri's office never called me back, so I called them this morning.
They said my cerclage is scheduled for Tuesday. Yea!
I'm glad I called them. I'm so happy as when I talked to my peri on Tuesday he said it was more likely going to be the end of next week or the following Monday. (22nd)

On another positive note, I got approval from my manager to start working from home next week. I used to work from home all the time, I was on a special program w/work, but I moved to a new group that didn't want to honor people doing that. But she has been generous to allow me to do this - we aren't sure yet how we will tell my coworkers though. I don't want to tell people at work that I'm pregnant. We had a staff meeting today and I was hoping she would mention it to people. She just approved it without saying she needed to talk to her manager - who disapproves of people working from home. Yea!! I hope she doesn't change her mind. I had a feeling she would approve it, but I was scared if she would not approve it.

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Prayers for a friend

Something I forgot to mention....
One of my friends did IVF with my same RE as me. We have gotten closer, but haven't hung out since she got pregnant. I used to work with her DH.

I emailed her today to ask about her anniversary and if she was going on a babymoon. As last time we emailed each other, she wanted to get away for awhile in her 2nd tri. She had bad m/s her entire pregnancy so she was advised not to go to her specific destination.

She emailed me back to say she lost one of her twins. She was pregnant with boy/girl twins and lost the girl. I'm not sure how far along she is, but she is due in October. I think she is between 24 and 26 weeks. I'm not sure when she lost the other twin. I didn't want to ask too many questions. It is so heartbreaking. Life is so fragile.

Please spare a prayer for her and her DH.

NT Scan went great!

Thanks for the prayers ladies! It helped. I know some of you don't believe in God. ;) But thinking good thoughts helps too...

We had genetic counseling. We do have some down syndrome and other mental retardation in both our families.

After that, we had our u/s and they measured the fluid in the baby's neck. I was concerned yesterday for nothing regarding this. The baby is fine. The baby was measuring correctly had a h/b of 168 bpm and was sleeping. I'm sometimes concerned when the baby doesn't move too much, but the u/s tech said it was ok. The baby was curled up in a corner, but in a great position to measure the spine. Yesterday, it moved around a little, but not too much.

After that, the peri reviewed my results with me and looked at my cervix and did an internal exam. My cerclage isn't scheduled yet but should be scheduled for less than 2 weeks from today. I hope it is late next week. He did see pink/brown blood on my cervix. That explains why I told the nurse I feel like my cervix is irritated. It's weird that I can feel that. No bleeding today. He told me it was probably part of the placenta that broke off - which he says is ok. He said based on the u/s pic, my placenta is over my cervix, which he says is normal for this stage in pregnancy. DH asked the peri a lot of questions and seems to really like him.

Since I'll be 36 when I deliver, my odds are this:

Down Syndrome - normally 1 in 233, but for me it was 1 in 718 - printout says equivalent to a 29 year old. Yea!

Trisomy 18/13- normally 1 in 412, but for me it was 1 in 8,221 - equivalent to a 20 year old. (!!)

I know I still have a chance for these, but I'm glad that I don't have to have an amnio and I can move forward with the cerclage.

Thanks for your support ladies!!! It is so nice to have the kind support of strangers - well online friends.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Emergency u/s today

I woke up to pink spotting this morning. I called my peri's office and they said to call my obgyn. Apparently they can't seem me without a referral... So I got in with my obgyn's office (not my obgyn) at 930am for an u/s.

The u/s tech is so thorough and spent more than 30 minutes looking at my uterus, cervix and the baby.

Baby is fine. Measuring correctly - I am 11 w 3 days and the baby was measuring 11 w 5 days or greater. H/B was fine.

Cervix is fine. No funneling. It measured between 2.8 and 3.0 when my bladder was almost empty. I told u/s tech it has gone down in 2 weeks. While I was on the u/s machine, my bladder filled up. When my bladder was full, my cervix was over 4. Cervix is closed on both sides.

After the u/s (external one), I had more spotting, and a tiny red blood clot. After that, the nurse practioner saw me and looked at my cervix. She said it was closed, but she said she saw blood in my vagina. In looking at my u/s pictures, she said my bleeding was unexplainable. But she said she saw something that might be a subchronic (sp?) hemmorrage. I was advised by her to take today and tomorrow off until my NT scan. I came home to rest and not work at all.

My NT scan is tomorrow, but I'm very scared. I'm scared something is wrong with the baby and maybe that is why I am bleeding. I keep telling myself that I don't have cramping and don't have more spotting, etc. I constantly look at the u/s pics and think something is wrong with the baby. I'm praying so hard for a good NT scan and the thumbs up for my cerclage.

If you read my blog, please say a prayer for me. I appreciate it!

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy 4th of July!

We told our immediate family today - well most of them. I didn't want to bother my sister as she is on vacation in a remote location. I'm not sure she can even get calls where she is. She is trying to get pregnant too (and is younger than me). I am sure she will be happy for us. She's been trying for a few months only and already getting antsy that it hasn't happened. I hope she doesn't have to go through what I have - trying for so many years.

We are waiting to tell friends for awhile and extended family.

My FIL told me something today that was bittersweet. He said that he noticed the other day at the cemetary that my son's birthday is the same as his father's. That made me happy and sad at the same time.

I hope everyone has a Happy 4th!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

OBGYN appt yesterday

Yesterday I had my 2nd obgyn appt. I thought they were going to do an u/s as last time they didn't do one. They also said when they did a pap smear they would ensure all was closed w/my cervix. I wish I had an u/s, but that's ok.

I had my pap smear. Thankfully no spotting from it - as that just makes people more nervous.
I was so nervous last time to get one of these - I was constantly googling about this. I'm glad I went through with it. I think it was fine to do it. Last time, my obgyn kept not being available and they wanted to stick me with the nurse practioner. Their usual tactic at my obgyn's office as my dr. is constantly running behind. So last time I never got a pap smear and then I lost the baby at almost 16 weeks. My obgyn was never available to do the pap, although I had many appts before 16 weeks. This time, they also wanted someone else to do it as my obgyn was going to be out fo the country for a few weeks. I'm glad I waited for him to come back since he is so gentle. I love my obgyn! He told me my cervix was closed and discharge around it was normal. Last time when I had funneling at 13 weeks, my cervix was closed from the outside, but opening from the inside (internal OS).

It's interesting that my obgyn really likes my peri, but recommended the opposite of what he has. My peri as mentioned before, was my peri when I lost the baby. I trust him, but his office messed up w/me last time. My cervical length last time was 2.5 a few days beforeThanksgiving and they didn't think I needed a cerclage. But they also didn't tell me it was that low, or I would have been on bedrest last time and not gone out of town for Thanksgiving. I lost my son 1 week after Thanksgiving. Anyway, back to my point. My peri is constantly saying once I get the cerclage I can be like a regular pregnant woman (I can run, I can have sex, I can swim, etc). Since he says stuff like this, my DH believes that. Well, I already made a decision about no sex (and of course no swimming or running or even walking). I also am not following his advice that I will be 'normal'. I plan to work from home and be home-bound. The peri said that is ok, as long as I'm not in bed all day. Well, my obgyn yesterday told me 'I wouldn't have sex after the cerclage'. I told him, 'oh I'm not going to'. I then told him peri said I could do anything. He said he disagrees a little bit, but he said 'i'm more conservative than he is'.

The reason I'm sticking with this peri is because I honestly think he is the best in my city for applying the cerclage. As far as care outside that, I need more time w/him to make a decision. I think with the cerclage I'll get better care in general.

I had the 7 vials of blood taken yesterday. Ugh, I hate blood normally and I've been pretty good with blood draws for IVF. But this was so much more...my blood was coming out so slowly.

I have my NT scan next week. I'm anxious, but hopeful everything is ok. Praying daily seems to help me feel confident about this pregnancy.

I hope everyone has a great 4th of July!!!