Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Waiting for an Ice Day...

Ok, I'm not really waiting. Well I want one, but i'm not sure why as I still have to work on ice days. :) I remember when I didn't have to work on ice days...that is so much more fun. Stay in bed all morning....
Unfortunately, I work from home and my job can be done even with no one in the office. Damn!
We always have at least one ice day in Texas. Last year we had 3 in a row, very abnormal...We even had sleet/ice on Easter. A few years ago, our ice day hit on Valentine's Day. So, we could still get an ice day in February, but normally they occur in January.

I say I work from home, but I'm in the office daily lately for part of the day. :( boo

Well, I wanted to post the other day that since I had the miscarriage I have had anxiety issues. Does anyone else have this? I feel very claustrophobic. I've never been that way in my life. My dad is claustrophobic. I have to be near a door and I'm not sure how I would do on a plane right now. I rode a helicopter on my honeymoon and had no problem. I feel that my m/c has created some sort of imbalance in me that now I have anxiety issues. :(

I'm not sure if it was the m/c or being pg. When I first found I was pg, I had a nightmare of how I was trapped in a basement when a tornado came and threw debris over the top of the basement. We dont' even have a basement. I had 2 kids and I was panicked. I woke up so scared. In December, after my m/c, my sister got a hummer limo to take us out to a concert. I was in the front and starting to feel claustrophobic as it was full of people. I almost had a panic attack. I kept telling myself to breathe. It probably didn't help that our driver almost crashed. I'm glad that I wasn't pg at the time or I might have lost the baby just from that jerking around. Everyone flew forward and I kinda got squished.

We went out to dinner on Saturday with some friends. They said that they have both been doing accupuncture for fertility - they are starting IVF now. They also have male factor. My friend said that when he started out they ended up fixing an issue with his leg that occured during back surgery years ago. My DH and I were very impressed that we thought we may do accupuncture. Not just for fertility, but maybe for other issues. I didn't want to do it for IVF as I had one successful IVF and I wanted to do stuff as I had done last time. But I was thinking about maybe doing accupuncture for anxiety. I wonder if that helps with anxiety. My friend said that you can see the accupunturist to 'keep a pg' too. I wonder if there is anything to this. I know I really can't take herbs, but actually doing the needles might be interesting. Right now, I would do anything to lose my anxiety issues. I have started exercising and I hope this could help this too.

I was crying today and yesterday probably due to the rain and just being depressed. I saw a friend (really acquaintance/former coworker) of mine yesterday who was 2 months ahead of me and I had to tell her my whole story. I didn't want to email her that I lost the baby as she never checked on me via email. I always sent her emails asking about her preganancy and asking her what she was having, etc. Yesterday was a difficult day just talking to her...It's funny how people are, but I go out of my way to check on my pg friends- I send them emails to ask them how they are. I never got one email from some of these 'friends' who were pg at the same time as me. They never asked me how I was doing when I was pg until I sent them an email. I feel like I'm constantly trying to be a friend to people when they don't call or send me emails. One of my coworkers' wife, never congratulated me on being pg - in person or via email, but was quick to send an email saying she was sorry when I had the m/c. Part of me thought that the reason she did that was because she had a m/c sometime back herself. She wanted me to call her, but I never did. Don't get me wrong -we are friends and I think if she had a m/c I feel so bad for her - but can't people send emails for good news AND bad news. Even though I have struggled (and still struggle) with infertility and it makes me slightly jealous to see my friends pregnant - I still am happy for them (just sad for me) and really hope for the best for them. I constantly go out of my way to be friends to them and ask how they are doing. Most of my friends are not good friends.

1 comment:

Monica H said...

It was February 14, 2005 at 3 am when it started snowing. I remember because I wa sitting on the couch painting my toe nails red for Valentine's Day. My hubby and I ran outside to take pictures and I even saved a snowball from that night. I still have it in my freezer in a margarine container :)

The last time was in April of last year, but it didn't snow, it just got icy. I have pictures of that too. I'll have to post them just for the memories. I wait for a ice/snow day too, but I don't know when it will happen.

A friend of mine did acupuncture to regulate her period and ovulation. She also had sinus problems and it helped that too. I thought about doing it too, but I just haven't. I've never heard of doing it to keep a pregnancy- interesting.

Also, I'm sorry about your friends lack of support and enthusiasm when you were pregnant. For me it was opposite. It seemed everyone and their mama was excited for me when I was pregnant, but when the baby died, they disappeared. People are puzzling to me.

BTW, what is your sons middle name. I know his first name, but was curious about his middle name (if he even has one) Youcan just email me if you want.

I hope we have an ice day and your computer is down, so you can take the day off :)