Happy Labor Day!

I read a whole book yesterday! That's a pretty big deal for me - i'm not a big reader. I wish I read more - I do have more time w/bedrest now.
It was an easy book and very short. :)
'The Last Lecture' by Randy Pausch. I loved it and could really relate. He was a computer science teacher and I was a computer programmer. Such good advice on living life and enjoying each day...I had read about him in Parade magazine a few months back. I highly recommend it. I hope my DH reads it soon.

I went for my weekly shower today - the water was very cold -we go to where I work - not sure if the hot water just wasn't working. It was still nice to have a shower.
Yea -holiday tomorrow!!! It will be relaxing not to work.
I had some visitors on Friday afternoon. It's great to have visitors, but still tiring for me as people can be very loud.

My neighbors were having a party yesterday and we aren't close with them. They are loud. I could write more but I won't. They are single people-not sure how many live there. I'm just glad they didn't have music on very loudly as they usually do. They were yelling stupid stuff out though. I started laughing when it started pouring rain- as they were all out there swimming in their pool and enjoying the sun. Then I thought that my DH was out biking and probably also got poured on.

I'm praying for those in New Orleans as they are getting hit again. I hope everyone could get out this time - even the people without money or transportation.

A year ago tomorrow is the day I had my IVF transfer.

Big u/s results

Had big u/s today. They confirmed I am having a boy. I guess they were right 4 weeks ago.
CL was 3.0 - that is ok for me. Down from last time, but same girl who measured it last time and measured it short measured it today-so I'm thinking it is around 3.0 or maybe slightly higher if peri had measured it.
I told the nurse and peri that I feel movement very low - but have read others have that too with a cerclage. Peri says baby could be kicking my bladder or cervix. They said my uterus is still low, so movement will be lower until 24 wks. I feel very little movement so far. Just some taps here and there...but I get scared when I get the movement that low. I usually just lie down more when I have this.
No funneling.
Baby is measuring 9 oz and had a h/b of 163.
Baby is measuring 19w2d - 4 days ahead.
Baby's heart and brain seem good.
We talked w/the peri afterwards. He thinks I am a 'normal pregnant person' now. He said 'no more baby drama for you'. Well, I'll still do what I have been doing until 24 weeks. It is working I think. I will go up my stairs around 24 wks.
Peri says he won't see me for 5 or 6 weeks. I'm scared to go that long, but trust his judgment. Honestly, I can't go every week because I'm doing everything possible as-is to keep the baby inside. So if my CL dropped suddenly, it would hard for me to be stricter with my activities. So, the way I look at it is that I would rather have less dr. appts as getting in the car and walking around brings on BH contractions for me and/or irritable uterus.
We stopped to grab a bite on the way - a quick restaurant where I didn't have to stand long.
I asked peri about steroid shots at 24 wks and he won't give them to me unless things start going badly. I asked him about delivery of a premie - what if my water broke - which hospital should I go to. He said that won't be an issue. He is confident I'll go until 2 weeks after my cerclage is removed at 36 wks. (I'm more than halfway there!!!) He said just go to my normal hospital and I would be transferred if I delivered before 36 wks.
I've been leaking urine since the start of this pregnancy. The more water I drink the more I notice this. Peri said he doesn't know why, but it can happen and it will just get worse as my bladder has less room because of the baby's growth. None of my drs seem to know why i have this - it isn't when i sneeze or cough as they usually expect. My amniotic fluid was perfect so that calms my fears that it could be a slow amniotic leak. Yea! That is what I worried about two weeks ago when I visited my obgyn and they didn't want to do the amniotic fluid test or an u/s to check it out.
I wish I could have my peri's confidence. I do trust him more though. So far so good...

Are we so different?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/mourned-after-being-rejected-baby-gorilla-at-heart-of-zoo-row-901852.html

On inside edition today, they were showing video of a gorilla whose baby had died at 3 months old. She was mourning the loss of her son. Inside Edition said he had a heart condition, but this article didn't say that.

It was so heartbreaking to see and brought some tears to my eyes.

Here is an article that talks about the heart defect:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/08/19/eagorilla119.xml

So sad...

Yea - it's raining!

Ok, as most of you know, I prefer the sun to the rain - hence the name of my blog, but it's summer and I live in a hot state in the south. It hasn't rained for awhile - well really good...

It just started pouring - yea!! They predicted 6-8 inches where I live over the next 5 days and I hope we will get it. The weather people have been really wrong lately though. I seriously doubt we will get that much.

I usually water plants, trees, etc, but since I'm on bedrest DH doesn't water them but I agree with him there isn't much point with how dry it is here. We just hate wasting water. Our grass is like hay. My trees will love the rain!

I am glad it is raining for another reason - because it will bring down our temperatures. Even inside, I feel hot - even with the a/c on. I always feel hot even when I'm not pregnant. DH says I'm always hot that's why I rarely get sick. He thinks viruses can't live in my body.

The raining has already stopped - please more rain!!!

Sorry I have to vent

Although I told my sister (well one of them) not to tell anyone - she has told all her friends. I figured she would, she doens't respect people's right to tell news on their own timeframe. Oh well, I can't control it. My mom is visiting her and told me that everyone seems to know. My sisters friends are like sisters to her, so she thinks it is fine to tell them. I told her today it was a boy and I'm sure she will tell her friends.
My DH said I might as well tell my friends - as only a few of my friends now. And I haven't told my coworkers either...
I haven't been sleeping well, but it is hard to sleep downstairs on the couch which isn't very comfortable. Our couch is leather, but not too comfortable to sleep on. I usually wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. This happened on Friday morning and I told my DH in the morning that I couldn't stop thinking about work issues and that if I didn't call in sick for part of the day - I would go insane. I think I was having BH contractions because of the stress.
So Friday, I worked from 8am - 11am and then said I was 'sick'. I think it will help my coworkers if they know I'm pregnant because they will hassle me less to do things that others should be doing. I felt so good after not thinking about work the rest of the day. I slept. I told them I would work part of this weekend, but I hope I don't.
I really don't want the stress to get to me and especially the baby, but I am a workaholic and it is hard for me to not think about work issues. It's hard for me to turn this off. DH can do that easily, but I always want to do a good job.
One of our friends came over on Friday. They brought us dinner and spent time watching the olympics with us. I like having visitors, but they can get loud. Loud noises usually affect the baby (like our dogs barking). I was pretty ok with it though and glad to see my friends. My friend's DH touched my belly for a good amount of time. It's funny because he doesn't want kids, but seems excited for us. It was the first time someone touched my belly - besides my DH.
I told DH that I feel like I'm not gaining weight. I'm not too hungry to eat. I told him I think I lost weight - gaining it in my belly area, but losing it on my legs. He agreed that I lost weight in other places. Bedrest doesn't increase my appetite, but I'm forcing myself to eat more. I ate a big burger today, but didn't finish it. But I think the milkshake I ate will help... :)
Our friends had a party last week and some other friends (not close friends) had a party the week before and we missed both. So, apparently the friends that know kept their mouth shut, but told me that our other friends are bitching that we hate them. I don't really want to tell those other friends since they aren't that close and they are being jerks about things. Little things like that bother me too. I emailed both guys (since I'm friends more with the guys - former coworkers) and said something kinda rude implying my friend told me what they said about us. I said 'I promise we aren't avoiding you'...
One of the guys I wrote the above in a nice way, but he wrote back saying 'well it just seems like you guys are avoiding us at every party'. So that is when I wrote something not exactly rude but just saying 'sorry we couldn't go to your birthday, but I think I told you we were out of town for my DH's birthday and then I had surgery where I couldn't leave the house'. I hope I made them feel a little bad for them being rude and constantly complaining we aren't seeing them. Both sets of these other friends are not friends we ever hang out with as a couple. I usually go to lunch with them (the guys) in a group of ex-coworkers. In fact,I went to lunch for this guy's birthday the Friday before my surgery. (but we missed his surprise bday party since my DH and I went to a hotel one night before my surgery -to celebrate my DH's birthday - in our same city). This guy thinks my DH is avoiding him, which I think is funny.
I hope all is well with the baby with all the stress. I know I shouldn't let things get to me. It's hard but I'm getting better.
I have crazy dreams which stress me out too. I am claustrophobic again on this pregnancy. I have dreams which put me in situations that get me panicked. I'm so funny in my dreams because I tell people 'i'm pregnant, why am I walking around.' Even in my dreams, I know I shouldn't be walking around - but I am. :) I can't really help having stressful dreams.

OBGYN appt

Dr. didn't want to do u/s, and I didn't push the issue for cervical length measurement. I really wanted an u/s, but decided I would be ok without one.

I told him I am still leaking fluid (probably urine)- have been since 4 weeks pregnant though. He thinks I am fine and didn't want to do a test for amniotic fluid. He prefers not to put anything in the vagina and I agree with him. I would have prefered an u/s to see that all the fluid levels were ok. My dr. is very compassionate and just said he understands that I have an 'anniversary' this week - that I may have anxiety. He then said 'don't spend your time worrying as there is nothing you can do. Worry will not help, so you might as well spend your time thinking positive thoughts'. I told him that works keeps my mind off things, so I don't think I am constantly worrying.

My DH thinks I have gained 10lbs. Well, he went with me to the obgyn today and they said I have gained 1 POUND. I just told my husband 'see I told you!' in front of my dr. The dr. just said 'that can't be right'. He didn't sound concerned, though.

I think I might have gained 2 lbs only (but I weight more in the evening after a lot of bloat). I'm about as bloated as I was at 4 weeks pregnant with IVF #1. DH thinks I might have lost muscle mass just resting a lot.

We got to eat out before the dr. appt. We were kinda rushed, but it was enjoyable. I was scared to be out and eating since I've only been at home. I was having some bh contractions - not sure because I went down the stairs or I was out and about going to the dr. (or just because I was scared to be walking around). Those stopped when I was at the drs office. DH dropped me off at the front of the drs. office, so I didn't have to walk too much.

Dr. measured h/b on the doppler and it was 157. He said 'you can hear the baby kicking'. Of course, I can't feel him yet.

Well, DH asked my obgyn some of the same questions he asked the peri. My obgyn is much more conservative. After hearing his responses, my DH is much more comfortable with how I am dealing with this pregnancy. (resting a lot). My obgyn said if I sit still and don't move for hours in the same position like being on an airplance- yeah I can get a bloodclot, but getting up to go the bathroom quite a bit keeps me OK. DH was happy to hear that since my peri was so vocal about me not resting at all. I'm glad my DH finally sees what I am doing is good. He left it in my hands previously, but I think in the back of his mind he was scared I was hurting myself. My obgyn said 'of course they told you no sex' and I said 'remember I told you peri says sex is ok, so they didn't tell me NOT TO'- But I said 'you know we aren't doing anything - nothing in the there at all.'

My blood pressure is great - something I worry about with all the salty foods I eat and not being active. I have low blood pressure normally.

Have a great weekend! I may be updating only once a week for awhile.

Guess Who Is Coming to Dinner?

One of my favorite movies is being shown for free near my city -in an outdoor event. It would be fun to go, but I'm glad I'm doing everything possible to keep this baby baking. I did happen to see part of this movie on tv yesterday. It's such a great movie - I love Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy.

We told 2 close friends over the weekend about the pregnancy. One was not surprised as she is the one who had pretty much guessed for awhile.

My mom asked me how far along I was today (she keeps forgetting) and I told her 'almost 16 weeks' and she said 'i need to know in months'. I know that is how things were done when she was pregnant, but that's not how most people do it today. My mom had 4 kids, but doesn't remember giving birth - it amazes me.

It will be a hard week this week, since this is the point in the pregnancy where everything went wrong last time. I'm very hopeful that the cerclage is going to work though. Have a great week everyone!

Premature statistic

Last week I posted this link on the IC forum to see what people thought.

http://www.surgeryencyclopedia.com/Ce-Fi/Cervical-Cerclage.html

Male fetuses are more likely to be born prematurely and have a higher rate of fetal death than female fetuses (a difference of 2.8–9.8%).

I think if you have incompetent cervix, it doesn't matter if you have a boy or a girl - it is still going to not hold up (without help). I think these are general statistics, not specific to IC.

I was scared to find out that I was having a boy as I know girls do much better if they are born premature. But I'm happy that I'm blessed to be pregnant and we are happy with just a healthy baby - no matter the sex.

On another subject, people asked why I still see my peri. I think he is the best in my city for the cerclage surgery. I think he is pretty good in general, just very relaxed. He is the same for all his patients as I mentioned previously that my friend goes to him and he told her she would be fine after she lost one of her twins and was at risk of going into labor (before viability). She did more bedrest than he said and I think that was good for her as she is ok now. She called him 'flippant'. My peri does make sense in his advice. To be honest, most peris don't believe in bedrest. Part of the reason I don't trust him or other drs. like this is because they can't easily tell women 'you should be in bed resting' because then if the women did everything they could still sue them. I guess they could still sue them if they say 'go waterskiing'. :) I don't trust any dr. 100%. If I went to a new peri, it would probably be the same - he would say not to do bedrest. Even though my friend thinks he is too lenient, she still sees him too. You have to listen to your drs., but you also have to listen to your body.
I'm annoyed half the time with my RE as he is late constantly, he answers his cell phone while doing u/s on me, and he doesn't pay attention all the time. He is late for no good reason too. At least my obgyn is late because he is delivering babies, but my RE is late because he was 'on the phone' or 'at lunch'. But I think he is the BEST in my state at what he does! I would rather have a great doctor than one who just has the best bedside manner.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!!