Update on me...

I am pregnant again. I'm 11 weeks pregnant today.

I'm so scared. Having success one time doesn't help me much.

I'm finally posting this on my blog. I'm not sure why.

This last 7 weeks has been extremely hard. I found out I was pregnant when I was still breastfeeding. My son was 11.5 months. I went in for some betas with my RE - even though I didn't get pregnant via IVF. We were not trying to get pregnant, but not avoiding. My RE told me via my nurse 'tell her to stop breastfeeding unless she wants to lose that baby'. Gotta love my blunt T.exan doctor. (I have a few of those).

Shortly after my betas, I had two bleeding episodes. It was more than spotting. It was not brown. The first time - around 6.5 weeks (after I saw the baby with a h/b a few days before)...I could have gone to work and just assumed a miscarriage. I had started thinking m/c and grabbed a bunch of pads. I called my RE's office. They told me to come in for an u/s. I decided to just stay home and drink a ton of water and lie down. I thought I wouldn't want an u/s because it would just make my cervix more irritated (due to the vag cam u/s). My drs office called and I told them the spotting had subsided. I was having another u/s in half a week anyway. My next u/s around 7wks showed a hematoma (SCH) as the cause of my bleeding. I was scared but thinking at least there was a reason. On my last pregnancy, they couldn't identify why I had bleeding at 11w3d last time. My RE told me to take it easy and to not lift more than 10lbs. Oh, at the beginning they told me not to lift more than 20lbs (think they tell all pg women this). My son weighs more than that...I still lift him, but I do try to minimize lifting him. I just can't NOT lift him.

The 2nd bleeding episode happened at around 8 weeks or so. I was supposed to meet my cousin for lunch and we had to leave. I'm sure she thought I was crazy and I haven't told her why I flaked. I came home and had some cramping and just drank water and lied down. I had an u/s the next day that showed my hematoma had grown. Great...I guess going to the grocery store was maybe too much. Ugh!

My first appt with my obgyn had them giving me an unexpected gestational aldiabetes test. I passed! They didn't do a pap smear, but just did the normal blood work (a ton of vials, etc).

The week after that, I had an appt with my peri. The u/s tech just rushed through things. At 9w4d last time they did a cervical check - this time - not so much. I had to ask her what about my hematoma (mind you this is my first visit with the peri). She says 'oh i didn't see one'. Then she said she saw something very small...When my peri came in he said it was very small, but still there.

I've had brown spotting almost the entire first trimester. Now my spotting is gone, but I have stretchy tan/dark discharge.

Today I had an appt with my obgyn. I will only let him do a pap smear on me. Well I had all these items written down for him...he knows I'm a crazy/high maintenance patient. I tell him I have discharge, back pain, an infection down below (that I got before I was pregnant). I asked him that my brown spotting had stopped, but I still have that stretchy brown/tan discharge. I keep thinking it means cervical shortening. My obgyn says it is still related to my hematoma (even though it is small, it still irritates the environment down below). He said that that kind of discharge is cervical shortening related =but is later on that I shouldn't have it this early. When he did the pap smear, he looked at my cervix. He said it was closed and 'good enough for a cerclage'.

Thanks for your support - if you read. I'll be posting my progress. I'm sorry if my news is hurtful especially for those readers who are having trouble getting pregnant.