A year ago...

A year ago yesterday, I got a postive on an ovulation predicator kit, but was assuming I was pregnant because I knew I wasn't ovulating. I found out the following day with a postive pregnancy test and the day after that with a positive beta. This was the month after an early miscarriage from FET#1 and right before starting birth control pills for IVF#2.

The very weird thing is that my mom called me yesterday to tell me that it was my child's saint day (by his name). My aunt had gone to church and heard this and called my mom. So without knowing any of this, I picked a name for my child that has a saint day on the day I found out I was pregnant. I'm not a very religious person, but I think that is very strange!

This year has been very hard (even on my marriage), but I'm very thankful for my blessing. My DH had to do SO MUCH when I was pregnant and on bedrest and I think he still feels like he does a lot because I don't have a lot of time. If I stayed home, I'm sure I could do more, but I do work full time. I like working though - although I miss my child. It's so hard to leave him in daycare, but I trust the people. I look at pictures of my child throughout the day - to get me through the day. I think my DH doesn't want another child because it has been so tough. We both agree we wouldn't do IVF again (we didn't do it for our child). I hated myself on IVF meds, but that is a different topic.

A friend of mine says if she ever gets a tattoo, it would say 'be grateful'(or be thankful - i forget). Sometimes I think of that and even before I had a child, I was thankful for having a good husband. When I see people who are less fortunate than me, I have to think that things are fairly good. Life is hard.